“Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch me today?

My Heroine

2011-05-31T11:49:00.000-06:00

Merriam-Webster defines a heroine as "a woman admired and emulated for her achievements and qualities." I have a friend who I had the privilege of serving with in the Anaheim, California Mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints several years ago who has been asked to pass through some intense physical challenges since then. She had brain surgery number 4 this last week where a tumor the size of a lemon was removed. Below you will find the original message that was posted on her facebook page with all the details of the procedure that was about to take place.
She came out of the surgery well, but somehow was overmedicated which caused her body to go into shock. She was put back in ICU and wasn't breathing on her own, progressively going downhill. Her family asked that we fast and pray with them on her behalf. While fasting and uniting in prayer for her, we watched her come back. Slowly she was breathing on her own. She finally woke up and was talking and has taken several steps! She is a woman of great faith and persistence who continues to show she doesn't give up. Learning of her experience has taught me a great deal, actually reminded me of a great deal. Heavenly Father is in the very details of our lives. He will never give us more than we can handle. He provides us with opportunities such as this to be more united as brothers and sisters here on this earth, part of the same race, all on the same team. Tamara is an example to me I will always remember, I pray I never forget.

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Tamara Meza Brain Surgery Number Four
May 23, 2011

Tamara arrived at Saint Anthony Central Hospital at about 6:15 AM. When we saw her get out of her car with David she exercised by spinning around in a kind of Yoga balancing routine. While she was waiting for the surgery she walked up and down the halls rather than lay on the gurney. When it came time to go for her MRI she asked for a wheelchair and got in it rather than ride a gurney. She smiled, joked, and talked cheerfully. Mom braided her hair so that it would not interfere with the incision that was to be made during surgery. The incision will go from top of ear across the top of her head to the top of the other ear. The scalp is then pulled over her face and the skull opened for access to the tumor which is situated over her left eye. The tumor is about the size of a lemon.

Tamara had recorded music on an MP3 player, brought the player to the hospital, and requested that she be able to listen to it during the surgery, which she did until the battery was exhausted.

Before surgery we met the anesthesiologist Jeffrey Yoder. He explained that he would give her small amounts of medication prior to actually starting the surgery to confirm that Tamara was not allergic to any of them. He also would monitor several body responses to be certain that she was not awake during the surgery and feeling pain. We asked him if we could give him a blessing and he welcomed it. Afterwards her surgeon Andrew Stewart Levy came to the room and after he gave instructions and answered questions he also accepted a blessing.

Tamara was scheduled to go into the surgery operating theatre at 9:00 AM. Dr. Yoder noted that Tamara was allergic to latex and the theatre had some latex in it, so he delayed the surgery while all latex was removed. Tamara was admitted about 9:30 AM.

The following were beside Tamara as she was wheeled into the surgery theatre: David, Mom, Dad, Nathan, Carol, Michael, Hirum Ipson, and Luisa Meza. We called “Hip, hip, hurray” to her three times as she was wheeled down the hall past us.

We heard from the nurse at 11:30 AM that Tamara had been in surgery for about 40 minutes and that all was going well. It apparently took over an hour to prepare her, place her head in a vice, get the stealth ready, etc.

We heard again about 2:30 PM that the tumor had been removed.

At 4:12 the nurse called and gave David the news that “they had carefully removed all the tumor they could see” and that they were making a new plate to replace the prior plate.

At 6:30 PM. Dr. Levy, the surgeon, came and told us of the success of the surgery and that Tamara was recovering. He had removed all the tumor visible to the eye and MRI “stealth”. The old plate had grown into the skull and he had to remove it with a diamond saw.

As Dr. Levy opened the scull through the old plate it was apparent that the brain was under pressure as fluid squirted from the opening. When the old plate was finally removed the tumor protruded through the opening. After the tumor was removed the brain “relaxed” and extended into part of the now hollow void. I assume that the headaches Tamara recently experienced were more severe than she reported.

As Dr. Levy removed tumor he sent samples to the lab for quick freeze slicing and examination. Even the new cells in the two new nodules appeared to be grade 3 not grade 4. He will send more tissue for more testing with paraffin and with various sensitive dyes to find a more accurate report. He will get the results in a week or so. From the biopsy he will also get gene dilation which is a study of the origin of the tumor and learn about the behavior of the tumor.

Dr. Levy removed as much as he could see or read with the stealth that was tumor and did not go any deeper than he felt necessary to preserve her cognitive abilities. This time he noted two new nodules and that the interface between the tumor and the brain was more vascular or bloody. He pointed out that he was sure that he could not remove all cancer cells but that he removed all that he could discern. There did not appear to be a whole lot of infiltration into the brain, but he was conservative in chasing the infiltration in order to preserve her cognitive ability.

Dr. Levy had scheduled the surgery operating theatre for 8 hours thinking the surgery would last 6 hours. It lasted about 9 hours.

Dr. Yoder, the anesthesiologist, then came to see us and said that Tamara was recovering well but was, as expected, in a lot of pain and nauseous. They were working on her pain management and nausea. She was speaking and wiggling her fingers and toes.

Dr. Levy said that they would do a MRI tomorrow and see if there is any apparent tumor that was not removed.

As we called our children we found that Daniel had organized 50 to take turns praying for Tamara every 5 minutes starting at 9:00 AM. Others have been fasting and praying for Tamara over several months. A cousin Carrie, a brain cancer survivor twice over, had her class pray for Tamara and draw pictures of brains that were healthy. We have received numerous calls of those who have fasted and prayed for her. Tamara’s 8 year old niece Melinda fasted today and e-mailed Daniel regularly during the day to find of Tamara’s progress.

We love and appreciate all of you. Your great support has not only provided Tamara comfort, increased her courage, but in a miraculous way has had a tangible impact on her surgery.

Tamara will need quiet and rest now in order to recover. Please continue your faith and prayer. She is, and will be for quite a few days, extremely sensitive to noise and light. Even the rustling of paper is painful to her.

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May 26, 2011, 5:01 pm

David asked that I update her status and ask for your continued prayers. She overmedicated on her pain medicine and has since been somewhat unresponsive--slow pulse, etc. I will let you know if there are any changes, but any extra prayers are welcome right now!

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May 27, 2011 7:05 am

Tamara has been moved back to ICU, She is not responding to anything. The doctor put her in a breathing tube respirator, please keep praying for her. David (Tamara's husband).

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May 27, 2011, 2:17 pm

A message from David--he would like me to post for Tamara (this is her sister Rachel)--that any who can, do a special fast for her tomorrow (Saturday 5/28). We know so many have already fasted and prayed for her, thank you so much. Tamara has gone downhill and is currently on life support, she is basically unresponsive. A special fast may be what it takes to pull her out of this. Thank you for all your support

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May 28, 2011, 8:39 am

Tamara is still connected to the supporting machine and no awake yet, but she is now breathing 60% on her own, Her lungs are back, my Tamara is coming back, Thank you so much for your prayers, fast and support. I will keep you post it. David.

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May 28, 2011, 10:45 am

Tamara is awake and off the machine, what a blessing.

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May 29, 2011, 9:52 pm

Well well well who comes out of a coma starts breathing and
walks 30 steps ? TAMARA, THAT'S WHO! NOTHING CAN KEEP HER DOWN!!!!

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May 29, 2011, 11:54 pm

For those following, my amazing cousin Tamara, on her fourth brain surgery in nine years, had an amazing surgery outcome on Monday but then was overdosed on meds Wednesday and went into septic shock and a coma like state. Doctors said to prepare for the worst, but with Tamara we knew better...

February 26, 2010

2010-02-26T06:34:00.005-07:00

Wow, I can't believe it has been since last April that I have written anything here. I have written plenty and experienced much since then, just haven't taken the time to write it all down here. The last time I wrote was about the time Aaron and I started dating more seriously...funny that now is the time I decide to write again, as things are coming to a close with us.

It has been a hard transition for me to not have him in my life anymore, and has caused me to really struggle to find and keep an eternal perspective in all of it. I want to-I want to see the divine purposes of all this heartache. I pray this will help, to be able to record what I am learning. To find peace. That's all I want, to be at peace.

I know God is mindful of me and will help me. I have seen that since all of this has transpired, in so many ways. I don't claim to understand all things, but I know that God is mindful of us in all the details of our lives. He loves us and wants us to be happy. I have come to realize the blessing of the Spirit in this life, to help us find understanding that we cannot find on our own. I have come to understand better the struggles one experiences to NOT become bitter from adverse circumstances.

When I think of this struggle, I think of those who we can read of in the Book of Mormon. We have record of many years of war and turmoil among the Nephites and Lamanites, the strife that existed between them. Towards the end of the battles we have record of in Alma, we read that because of the exceedingly great length of the war between them, "many had become hardened, because of the exceedingly great length of the war; and many were softened because of their afflictions, insomuch that they did humble themselves before God, even in the depth of humility." (Alma 62:41)

I have come to better understand that it is a choice-we can let things enrage us...or choose to allow the Lord to help us find peace. I have come to realize that it is a CHOICE. I choose to find peace and happiness. I don't want to have a heart cankered with hate. I have been blessed to be able to see how many people are carrying a lot of this weight on their shoulders in their lives through physical addictions, thinking that will bring them the solace they seek. It just buries it. Only the Savior can rid our hearts of any hurt, it is only He that can help us keep a softened heart amidst the rains of adversity. Adversity falls on EVERYONE. We don't have to carry the load all ourselves. Some things are too heavy to bear. Heavenly Father is there to help carry the load, so we can continue forward.

I just listened to this talk from President Henry B. Eyring on Adversity
(click on his name for link)

I am so grateful for this knowledge. I chose to move forward in faith.

The touch of the Master's hand

2009-04-15T21:40:00.008-06:00

I was just watching a video link a friend had posted that moved me. It is a video clip of woman performing on the 'Britains got talent' show. What really moved me was the reaction of the audience by this woman's appearance. Notice the audience's and the judge's response to her prior to her performance and the change that was wrought on them as she sang.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

It reminded me of one of my favorite stories: The touch of the Master's Hand.

'Twas battered and scarred, and the auctioneer
Thought it scarcely worth his while
To waste much time on the old violin,
But held it up with a smile: "What am I bidden, good folks," he cried,
"Who'll start the bidding for me?"
"A dollar, a dollar"; then, "Two!" "Only two?
Two dollars, and who'll make it three?
Three dollars, once; three dollars, twice;
Going for three—" But no,
From the room, far back, a gray-haired man
Came forward and picked up the bow;
Then, wiping the dust from the old violin,
And tightening the loose strings,
He played a melody pure and sweet
As a caroling angel sings.

The music ceased, and the auctioneer,
With a voice that was quiet and low,
Said, "What am I bid for the old violin?"
And he held it up with the bow.
"A thousand dollars, and who'll make it two?
Two thousand! And who'll make it three?
Three thousand, once, three thousand, twice,
And going, and gone!" said he.
The people cheered, but some of them cried,
"We do not quite understand
What changed its worth." Swift came the reply:
"The touch of a master's hand."

And many a man with life out of tune,
And battered and scarred with sin,
Is auctioned cheap to the thoughtless crowd,
Much like the old violin.
A "mess of pottage," a glass of wine,
A game—and he travels on.
He's "going" once, and "going" twice,
He's "going" and almost "gone."
But the Master comes, and the foolish crowd
Never can quite understand
The worth of a soul and the change that's wrought
By the touch of the Master's hand."

How quick that crowd was toss her aside like an old violin, scarcely worth their time. We are very human and prone to error in our judgement as the worth of someone or something.

I will leave you to ponder the connections between the two. It was a beautiful reminder.

Grateful for life

2009-04-08T06:30:00.025-06:00

Life has been busy to say the least. :) I was reminded yesterday of how the Lord has blessed my life in so many ways. Even though I haven't posted for a long while, I have continued to feel that. I wanted to write something here, however brief, to help me get back in the habit.
Yesterday was a busy day-these past months have been busy. :) It seems as the semester is coming to a close, more projects and papers have come due. I had a presentation due yesterday and had been up a little late the night before, assuring I had everything all together. I had spent the majority of Monday evening with Aaron (as he is getting ready to leave-spent the evening visitng with friends for dinner) and came home to work on it a little bit. I was having a hard time focusing when I finally was able to sit down and work on it, so I opted to go to bed and get up early the following day when I was fresh. It worked out better to do that and had a few hours before class (between teaching spanish in the morning and class) and was able to focus on my part of the presentation. I was able to focus and get my part all together and even had an idea of something to add to the presentation and had the time to get it all together.
I went to my first class (not the one we were presenting in) and my professor held up a book and asked if anyone had left a book in class last week. I had misplaced my book and wasn't able to study the information I needed and was wondering what I was going to do as I couldn't afford to buy a new book. I had been praying about it and then she held up the book. It was my book, with my same bookmark I had in it. I was grateful for a Father who hears my prayers and knows my needs.
I arrived at the class I was to present in only to find out our professor was out of town presenting himself to a group and wouldn't be there. He had a substitute from our same department and she said we would wait to present when our professor was there so he could hear what we had presented. Some were upset that we had to postpone it but I was fine either way. I was reassured everything happens for a reason and we cannot SEE sometimes why things have to be as they are. So, as upsetting as change can potentially be, we must rely on that truth: God can see the big picture and is in the details of our lives. It was a group presentation with 5 other girls, so maybe it was for one of them. A couple of them weren't having the best days ever, maybe it needed to be postponed for them. All I know is that it doesn't help to get upset about it. Now we are just extra prepared and if we wanted to, we could research more and fine tune more-which I could definitely use the time to do. :)
There were several other experiences that continued throughout the day that again reminded me how the Lord is mindful of me and knows me. I am so grateful to be alive. Grateful for a weekend full of words of our leaders from General Conference, men and women called of God to guide us and direct us today.

2009-03-19T20:16:00.001-06:00

The two greatest days of my life
were the day I was born and the
day I knew why I was born.
--Russel Honoré

Gratitude

2009-02-21T22:44:00.002-07:00

This is a talk I am giving tomorrow at church, I thought I would post it here for any who want to read.

Gratitude
The children of God have always been commanded to give thanks
1 Thes. 5:18 “ In EVERYTHING give athanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”
In a time of spiritual and temporal adversity, the people of God were ‘suffering all manner of afflictions’, the Lord commanded them to ‘give thanks in ALL things.” Mosiah 26:38-39, p. 198, 199
The prophet Alma taught, ‘When thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God’ Alma 37:37, p. 303
In modern revelation the Lord declared, “he who receiveth ALL things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold.” DyC 78:19, p..148
Also in DyC 59:7, the Lord states “thank the Lord thy God in ALL things.” P. 108
The phrase “All things” includes blessings great and small—of life, of health, of family and friends, of bounties rarely noticed but given to us freely. Certainly some of our greatest blessings are associated with the restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ.” -Visitng Teaching Message “With a Grateful Heart,” Ensign, Aug 1999, 53
Story of Lepers, Luke 17:12-19 (read all verses)
-asked for mercy, to be healed (v13)
-gave them direction on what they should do to find healing (v14)
-they heeded that counsel and were cleansed (v14)
-ONE of them when he saw he was healed turned back and ‘glorified God’, giving him thanks (v15-16)
-Lord pronounces another blessing, ‘thy faith hath made thee whole’ (19)
What is the connection between his faith and gratitude?
Why was it ‘key’ that he return and give thanks for this gift? Why was his faith pronounced whole?
I wish to talk today about how having gratitude blesses our lives. How does having gratitude make us whole?

1-USE IT OR LOSE IT
DyC 88:33 “For what doth it profit a man if a gift is bestowed upon him, and he receive not the gift?”
Gratitude is part of ‘receiving’, if we don’t show gratitude, we haven’t truly RECEIVED a gift (whether it be from God or fellowman)
President James E. Faust said “…ingratitude is self-centered. It is a form of pride.” Gratitude as a Saving Principle, Ensign December 1996
In the Book of Mormon we read of the state of the Nephites and Lamanites after having been at war for years with each other. In Alma 62:41, it reads, “because of the exceedingly great length of the war between the Nephites and the Lamanites many had become hardened, because of the exceedingly great length of the war; and many were softened because of their aafflictions, insomuch that they did humble themselves before God, even in the depth of humility.” Some had become hardened, some humbled from the affliction of war. Moroni then continues with the state of the people, “they did again establish the church of God , throughout all the land…notwithstanding their riches, or their strength, or their prosperity, they were not…slow to remember the Lord their God…yea, they did remember how great things the Lord had done for them, that he had delivered them from death, and from bonds, and from prisons, and from all manner of afflictions, and he had delivered them out of the hands of their enemies.” (v46-50)
President Gordon B. Hinckley has taught: “Gratitude is of the very essence of worship. ..When you walk with gratitude, you do not walk with arrogance and conceit and egotism, you walk with a spirit of thanksgiving that is becoming to you and will bless your lives” (Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley [1997], 250).
“You cannot be bitter, resentful, or mean-spirited when you are grateful.” True to the faith, 78-79
President James E. Faust said “It seems as though there is a tug-of-war between opposing character traits that leaves no voids in our souls. As gratitude is absent or disappears, rebellion often enters and fills the vacuum. I do not speak of rebellion against civil oppression. I refer to rebellion against moral cleanliness, beauty, decency, honesty, reverence, and respect for parental authority. A grateful heart is a beginning of greatness. It is an expression of humility. It is a foundation for the development of such virtues as prayer, faith, courage, contentment, happiness, love, and well-being.
But there is a truism associated with all types of human strength: “Use it or lose it.” When not used, muscles weaken, skills deteriorate, and faith disappears. President Thomas S. Monson, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles at the time, stated: “Think to thank. In these three words is the finest capsule course for a happy marriage, a formula for enduring friendship, and a pattern for personal happiness” (Pathways to Perfection [1973], 254) - President James E. Faust, Gratitude as a Saving Principle, Ensign December 1996

2-Gratitude gives us helps our ability to see -‘LENS OF SPIRITUALITY’
Elder Dallin H. Oaks stated “When we give thanks in all things, we see hardships and adversities in the context of the purpose of life. We are sent here to be tested. There must be opposition in all things. We are meant to learn and grow through that opposition, through meeting our challenges, and through teaching others to do the same.”
“If we see life through the lens of spirituality, we can see many examples of the works of God being furthered through the adversities of His children.” - “Give Thanks in All Things,” Liahona, May 2003, 95–98
What blessing did the one leper who returned to thank the Lord receive? His ability to truly ‘see’ things as God intended them to be increased as will ours as we follow his example.
In a Visiting Teaching message from an Ensign in 1993, it reminds us that “For three days, more than 4,000 people had stayed in the wilderness with the Savior without eating, and Jesus did not want to send them away hungry. But even His disciples questioned, “Whence should we have so much bread in the wilderness, as to fill so great a multitude?” (Matt. 15:33). Like many of us, the disciples saw only what was lacking. Nevertheless, Jesus gave thanks for what they did have (see Matt. 15:36), and a miracle followed: “They did all eat, and were filled: and they took up of the broken meat that was left seven baskets full” (Matt. 15:37).
We all face times when our focus is on what we lack. Maybe our time, means, patience, or even feelings of love do not measure up to our expectations. At such times, we would find it helpful to adopt President Brigham Young’s attitude and view our difficulties with a grateful heart: “There is not a single condition of life [or] one hour’s experience but what is beneficial to all those who make it their study, and aim to improve upon the experience they gain” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young [1997], 179).
“Miracles can happen in our lives as we look to God with a grateful heart. Understanding comes, and strength to endure grows.
One sister struggled with negative feelings after a divorce. She found it difficult not to dwell on what she no longer had. Her marriage had fallen apart—along with so many hopes and dreams. She would sit next to families at church and wonder what was wrong with her. During this difficult time, she remembered the counsel of her patriarchal blessing: “Sister, be grateful for all your blessings.” And so she sincerely tried to be.
Each day, as she paused to thank God for all He had given her, a healing took place in her soul. She was able to fight off feelings of bitterness and despair and felt an outpouring of God’s love. “Gratitude,” she says, “kept my heart soft.”
When we understand …that God offers us opportunities for blessings and blesses us through our own adversities and the adversities of others, we can understand why He has commanded us again and again to “thank the Lord thy God in ALL things” (D&C 59:7).” Visiting teaching message
My mind turns to the Israelites as they left Egypt. The Lord so abundantly blessed them with manna from heaven, yet they continued to forget Him and murmur. They would turn their thoughts to when times were good in Egypt, all the good food they had to eat.
I wonder how long their sojourn in the wilderness might have been had they ‘remembered’? How many times are we left to wander in our own wilderness incessantly on account of our unwillingness to simply acknowledge the Lord’s hand in our lives? There is great power behind this principle.
President Henry B. Eyring counsels us “…find ways to recognize and remember God’s kindness. It will build our testimonies. You may not keep a journal. You may not share whatever record you keep with those you love and serve. But you and they will be blessed as you remember what the Lord has done…. It won’t be easy to remember. Living as we do with a veil over our eyes, we cannot remember what it was like to be with our Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ, in the premortal world; nor can we see with our physical eyes or with reason alone the hand of God in our lives. Seeing such things takes the Holy Ghost. And it is not easy to be worthy of the Holy Ghost’s companionship in a wicked world.” G.C. October 2007
We not only show gratitude for what the Lord has done for by vocalizing it or writing it down, but also in our actions. Mosiah 2: 21, 22 “I say unto you, my brethren, that if you should render all the athanks and bpraise which your whole soul has power to possess, to that God who has created you, and has kept and cpreserved you, and has caused that ye should drejoice, and has granted that ye should live in peace one with another—
21 I say unto you that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning, and is bpreserving you from day to day, by lending you cbreath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own dwill, and even supporting you from one moment to another—I say, if ye should serve him with all your ewhole souls yet ye would be funprofitable servants.
22 And behold, all that he arequires of you is to keep his commandments; and he has cpromised you that if ye would keep his commandments ye should prosper in the land; and he never doth dvary from that which he hath said; therefore, if ye do ekeep his fcommandments he doth bless you and prosper you.”
President Gordon B. Hinckley said, “Meekness implies a spirit of gratitude as opposed to an attitude of self-sufficiency, an acknowledgment of a greater power beyond oneself, a recognition of God, and an acceptance of his commandments” (“With All Thy Getting Get Understanding,” Ensign, Aug. 1988, 3–4).
President Faust also says that “A grateful heart is a beginning of greatness. It is an expression of humility. It helps us develop such virtues as prayer, faith, courage, contentment, happiness, love, and well-being. “ -President James E. Faust, Grateful Heart, Liahona, Nov 1998, 5
I don’t know that I fully understand how the life of the one leper was truly affected by his decision to ‘turn back’ and glorify God. I do understand the power in giving thanks in ALL things and how it has blessed my life. It has provided me with understanding that I lacked, it has been a healing balm to deep wounds of the heart, it has been a means of lifting the hands that hang down. I know that if we but pause each day to reflect and thank God, God will honor His promises He has given us in the scriptures. He ‘never doth vary from what He hath said.” Mosiah 2:22. He IS preserving you from day to day, he will lend you breath when you feel you have none left in you, IF you but remember Him. I know this is true.

Time to unpack

2009-02-07T09:15:00.009-07:00

I heard a familiar phrase brought into a new light this week and have encorporated it into my vocabulary with its new meaning. 'Unpack' it. In my foundations of education class, my professor used that term. He wasn't referring to what we do after we take a trip somewhere, but to a figurative action we can take to better understand something. Question it, disect it. All in attempts to better understand whatever the subject may be. I have been doing that this morning.

I have been reading a different conference talk from the last General Conference and today it was Elder Carlos A. Godoy, from the Sunday afternoon session. The title of his talk was 'Testimony as a Process.' His talk focuses on the importance of the Spirit, that precious memember of the Godhead that helps us to teach us the truth of ALL things, (Moroni 10:5, 2 Nephi 32:5) being able to 'discern' and 'hear' the things of God.

The voice of the Spirit is described in the scripture as being neither loud nor harsh. It is not a voice of thunder, neither...a voice of a great tumultuous noise. But rather, a still voice of perfect mildness, as if it had been a whisper." (3 Nephi 11:3, http://scriptures.lds.org/en/hel/5)

Something I have always been fascinated with is how not everyone who comes in contact with these quiet promptings can 'hear' them. I feel in part it is because these promptings that usually come in form of a feeling are not shouted at us, but are whispered. Sometimes we are preoccupied with life that we cannot hear.

In the scriptures the words are often used to describe these feelings as a still small voice that did 'pierce' them 'that did hear'. I have been pondering on that phrase: 'pierce them that did hear.' Some questions arose in my mind:
-Why is it that only certain people could 'hear' it?
-How are we able to 'hear'?

I wondered: What say ye? I would love to hear what you have to say on the subject.

The faith to move forward

2009-01-13T22:57:00.025-07:00

Today has been a great day-I have been out of my 'normal' routine over the holidays, meaning up by 5:30 a.m.: reading, getting ready for the day which has been a challenge. I have been doing my routine...just not at such an early hour as it needs to be. Little by little I am getting back to where I need to be, trying to continue to be consistent in my efforts. I have been talking with a friend and have been reminded of the power in such a simple act, in being consistent in your efforts. If you set a goal to get up and exercise every morning, get up and do it. Even if it is for 15 minutes, you do it. It reminds me of the words of President Hinckley in a story he related about such seemingly small decisions and there effect in our lives.

He said: "I approached a large farm gate one day. I lifted the latch and opened the gate. The movement at the hinges was so slight as to be scarcely discernible. But the other end of the gate cut a great arc sixteen feet in radius. Looking at the movement of the hinges alone, one would never dream of the magnified action that came as a result of that tiny movement."

In this same talk he also shares another one of my favorite stories of his when he worked for the Union Pacific Railroad. He continues "Many years ago, I worked in the head office of one of our railroads. One day I received a telephone call from my counterpart of another railroad in Newark, New Jersey, who said that a passenger train which had passed over our line had arrived without its baggage car. The patrons were angry.

We discovered that the train had been properly made up in Oakland, California, and properly delivered to St. Louis, Missouri, where it was to be transferred to another railroad to be carried to its destination on the east coast. But we discovered that in the St. Louis yards, a thoughtless switchman had moved a piece of steel just three or four inches. That piece of steel was a switch point, and we found that the car that should have been in Newark, New Jersey, was in New Orleans, Louisiana—thirteen hundred miles away. It had gone south instead of east.

So it is with the decisions in our lives. Some small thought, some small word, some small action can lead to tremendous consequences" -President Hinckley, Keep the Faith, Ensign, September 1985

We never know the impact our small and simple efforts can have for good in our lives-how they have the potential to do so. As we continue in these efforts, we continue to move forward and before we know it, we find ourselves exactly where our hearts desired to be. We find ourselves full of joy and happiness beyond mortal understanding. I believe it possible, starting with the small and simple. The powerful.

I have also been dealing with some of my fears as of late that have left me wanting to curl up in the fetal position on the floor. But I haven't. :) I have shed tears which have come from fear, but also from the knowledge that Heavenly Father knows me and will make me what I need to be-if He sees it fit to be. So lastnight, my mind was racing with thoughts of these fears and I kept having this image of someone standing on the edge of a cliff looking down into the valley below. This valley below is pitch black-no visability. This person needs to jump, but doesn't know what they are jumping in to. So there they stand on the edge. That is how I have been feeling, so I stayed up last night and painted it out in its entirety. It is no masterpiece, I know. But to me it is an expression of faith and a willingness in my heart to step into the dark that, as President Packer said once it is often necessary to “walk to the edge of the light, and perhaps a few steps into the darkness, and … the light will appear and move ahead of you.” I am grateful to have the faith to move forward.

"I cannot tell you in detail how to decide everything. But I can promise that if you will make your decisions according to the standards of the gospel and the teachings of the Church, and if you will keep the faith, your lives will bear fruit of great good and you will know much of happiness and accomplishment." -President Hinckley

Free to choose

2009-01-05T17:19:00.009-07:00

I have had cause to reflect lately on the gift we have been given to choose. I was reading in the scriptures about the agency Adam and Eve were given in the garden of Eden, "..thou mayest choose for thyself.." (Moses 3:17) This scripture coupled with several conversations as of late with friends and choices that they have made have caused me to ponder on this great gift. There are a lot of different choices in our daily living, but all of our choices boil down to whether we choose to follow God or not: plain and simple.

I was listening to a talk by Elder Neal A Maxwell where he spoke of the joy that our Father in Heaven wants us to have. He continues, "We cannot do that UNLESS we are free to choose...neither can we have joy unless we are willing to be spiritually submissive day in, and day out, and unless we exercise that grand and glorious freedom to choose..." (Freedom to Choose?, BYU Devotional, March 2004)

Our obedience to God's laws is our choice, it has to come from us. God will not force it upon us. He also said "Choosing to be obedient is a choice. Jesus chose to let His will be 'swallowed up in the will of the Father' (Mosiah 15:7)...He will not force us."

I am grateful for such a precious gift I have been given and the price that was paid that I might be able to make choose for myself how I live my life. I am grateful for the peace that comes when I do make good choices.

Needless to say...

2008-12-23T13:34:00.032-07:00

It has been a long time since I have posted anything. Needless to say it has been busy and emotional time. I went home for Thanksgiving, went back the next week for my grandmother's unexpected funeral, prepared for finals and finished off winter semester, etc. I have stopped intermitantly on the rollercoaster of life to take a breath and continue forward. I was grateful I was granted extra time with my grandma over thanksgiving break to lift and laugh, I am grateful for professors who granted me great mercy in a time I felt I was drowning, I am grateful to family and friends that went to great lengths to assure I found comfort.

Through all of these events that each brought different joys and painful heartache, I have been consistently reminded that God knows me and knows of my tailor-made trials I was to pass through. He knew exactly what strength I needed, when I needed it to carry forward. He knew who to send to me to help lift me along the way. He knew, He knows and I know He will continue to show me IF I am not to blind to see. I think it is easy and natural to fall into a self-inflicted blindness sometimes in situations, that can bring bitterness and deeper sorrow if we are not careful.

I was talking to a friend about difficult times and he said something to the effect that the time to build the ark is not during the storm. How true. The time to prepare yourself for difficult times is not in the midst of it. It is a lifetime of filling your lamp so you can see in the darkness. I'm grateful I was granted vision where I lacked, to see beyond what was right in front of me. I in no way take credit for such vision or strength, but am full aware that I was carried and blessed to do so by my Heavenly Father. This love was manifest through God himself through the Spirit and others around me. I am grateful to those who were messengers of peace for me. I will always remember that.

God has our eternal perspective in mind. We just need to remember that and cling to Him and His vision and understanding.

A few great quotes to add to your collection:

"Be grateful for what you have, stay happy, have fun whileyou can, laugh a lot, accept and love everyone. Don't discriminate against anyone." -Esther Burt

“Day by day, minute by minute, second by second we went from where we were to where we are now. The lives of all of us, of course, go through similar alterations and changes…Time never stands still; it must steadily march on, and with the marching come the changes.
This is our one and only chance at mortal life-here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone….
I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do what you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey-now.” -President Thomas S. Monson

"...every life has its peaks and shadows and times when it seems that the birds don’t sing and bells don’t ring. Yet in spite of discouragement and adversity, those who are happiest seem to have a way of learning from difficult times, becoming stronger, wiser, and happier as a result…the Lord in His wisdom does not shield anyone from grief or sadness.” He continues “If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness. Come what may, and love it.” -Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

"Whenever you are sad, just go to your jiggily place." (a mixture of words and inspiration from Kaleb and Aaron :)) (ask me for further explanation, if you dare. :))

He knew

2008-11-26T00:38:00.027-07:00

I am so astounded at how abundantly I have been blessed as of late that I struggle to find the right words. I have been home a few days so far for the holidays and I today I have realized how much my Heavenly Father loves me. I hope everyone has moments like these often, that you might remember from whence you came. I have been concerned about finances as of late with my focus being on school full-time this semester and working only part-time, cutting my personal income substantially. I felt that all things had fallen into place to get me here and knew that God would not leave me alone in the direction He so poignantly led me. (going to Boise, finishing school-being able to go full-time this semester)

As I have been home, I have been blessed with many opportunities from my family to earn a little money. With the little I have done to help, they have been EXTREMELY generous in return. I wasn't going into it for money, I just wanted to help them. That is my greatest joy, to help and lift. Not take. Even though I did not go into it for the money, I am grateful for their generosity. It is an answer to prayers spoken and of the heart.

I also went to visit a friend today that I haven't seen in awhile. In our conversation I had mentioned that my phone had broken and I was just borrowing this one. She then proceeded to tell me that one of her clients had given her a phone but she and her husband couldn't use it because they didn't have t-mobile-which I do have. She had no idea that I was wondering how I was going to come up with the money to buy a phone next month or be able to pay for the increase in my rent. She didn't know, but God did.

Other areas of my life I have witnessed the same thing as of late, that God knows me and is ever mindful of me. He guided me to 'go' and 'do' (move to boise, go to school full-time), and He has kept His promise and continues to do so. He opened doors at there appointed time and continues to do so. I am amazed at how it all falls into place as it should. No forcing or pulling-just smoothly and precisely.
Just as it should.

Giving thanks

2008-11-24T00:36:00.007-07:00

I was listening to the radio this morning and heard the original proclamation of thanksgiving given by our President Abraham Lincoln October 3, 1863. I don't remember ever having heard it before, so I was especially eager to hear what it said. It was a very powerful message he gave as to the purpose of celebrating Thanksgiving, of which I have posted an excerpt from below. It reminded me of a comment I heard earlier this week from one of my co-workers, saying that Thanksgiving wasn't a 'religious' holiday.

"By the President of the United States of America.

A Proclamation.

The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God....They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American People. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquillity and Union."

By the President: Abraham Lincoln

Because of the Holy Ghost

2008-11-16T22:12:00.012-07:00

I was able to go and attend two missionary farewells today of friends here in the Boise area. One was in Emmett, Idaho, the other on Horseshoe Bend. (Boise is off the map in the direction of 'eagle' down at the bottom.)
They are both really cute little towns. I will post more information about them at a later date, some interesting facts about these towns. :)

It's late and I need to get to bed, but I wanted to post something before I do. There was a lady who spoke with my friend who is leaving this week. what she had to share really stuck with me. She shared her converstion story and how she found the church at age 24. She then proceeded to read this letter from a man who is a member of the church and has been all his life. In this letter, he was expressing his concerns that he was 99.9% sure that the church was mythical and that he didn't have a testimony of the gospel truths. He expressed in this letter the fear in telling his family how he feels. This sister proceeded to share how she knew that the church is true. She used the phrase, "Because of the Holy Ghost". "Because of the Holy Ghost, I know that the gospel is true." "Because of the Holy Ghost..." She continued to use that phrase to tell of how she knows what she does. I was overcome with feelings of the importance of what she was saying-to give heed. It is the Holy Ghost, and ONLY the Holy Ghost that can teach us the truth of ALL things. (2 Nephi 32:5) It reminds me of the account in the Book of Mormon with Nephi and Laman and Lemuel. I always wondered how it is that all these brothers having the same experiences could come away with such different feelings about them? How Laman and Lemuel after having been visited by an angel (along with Nephi and others), could continue on murmuring.

How blessed we are to have such a gift. I was grateful for the reminder today of these truths.

Not so deep thoughts :)

2008-11-15T14:50:00.014-07:00

Since I don't have internet at home anymore, these postings may be a little bit sparatic for a season. (Even more so than before. :) )

I was able to attend the temple in support of my friend Jack who is leaving on a mission this next week. He feels like a brother to me, and just as I would be for my brother, I am so excited for him and the journey he is about to embark on. I say as excited as I would be for my brother even though he has already served a mission-I don't know that I understood what I do now about the importance of serving. There is something about going through the temple with someone who is experiencing it for the first time: your senses are heightened, it seems as if you are listening for them. You pay more attention to what is being said, you pray for that individual and their understanding. The work in the temple brings everything full circle, it puts everything back in perspective as to what really matters. Such peace we can feel there that we can't find anywhere else.

I was talking with another friend today that got me thinking. She shared with me an experience she had a few years back that she didn't fully understand why it turned out as it did. I won't go into detail about her experience as it was shared in confidences, but I will tell you what I realized from her sharing what she did. It started me thinking about why certain things happen in our lives, why we have the different experiences we do: some painful, some joyous. I began to wonder if, in our lives we are to have certain experiences, whatever shape they come in, that we cannot fully understand. You know, experiences that we will never fully come to an understanding of in this life. As she was sharing her experience with me, at different times these thoughts came to me of the necessity that we have experiences that don't make sense. Then I thought of experiences I have had that just don't make any logical sense. I think these are part of our experience here-to build our faith. If we knew why everything happened, it would require no faith on our part in our Heavenly Father and His plan for us. Where would the growth be? If we already knew? I felt a stronger connection with her as we spoke and a deeper realization that God knows us all personally. Our experiences are tailor-made to fit us. Although my friend and I's experiences were diametrically different, the truth remained the same. My heart filled with joy. I am grateful Heavenly Father took the time for me to help me remember that.

scars of life

2008-11-10T22:57:00.004-07:00

I read these words today I thought very thought provoking-which I love. :)
It is by an artist I was recently introduced to, a thought she used to explain about inspiration for the music she writes.

"the scars sustained through life’s challenges become the fertile soil in which the seeds of hope are sown." -Corinne May

Something to think about. There is hope smiling brightly before us. :)

The gratitude of my heart

2008-11-09T14:27:00.012-07:00

I just arrived home from church a bit ago. Today has been a wonderful day full of reminders. Reminders of what REALLY matters in the eternal perspective.

I was reminded of how much our Father in Heaven loves each of us and knows us each personally. A friend of mine has been preparing to leave for a mission. http://www.mormon.org/mormonorg/eng/basic-beliefs/membership-in-christ-s-church/missionary-work Satan has, of course, been trying to put up obstacles to him leaving. He is very keen on our lives (satan) and when good things are happening, especially when one has made some major life changes. He will stop at nothing to drag us down. Something we need to remember in times like this: there are more that are with us than that are against us. (2 Kings 6:16) That is the beauty of being a follower of Jesus Christ: we have that special help and protection. I was reminded of that today.

I was also reminded of the sanctity of relationships, especially of family relationships. We discussed esson 20 of the Joseph Smith manual today in Relief Society. http://www.lds.org/pa/display/0,17884,4644-1,00.html This chapter contains letters that the Prophet Joseph wrote to his wife and family at different times in his life. We discussed what we could learn of how we should treat our families from the way he treated his family. There are some very touching words that were used to express his love for his family, yet he struggled at times to find the words. I can relate to that, the struggle from time to time to find words to express what I feel so deeply in my heart. "Tongue cannot express the gratitude of my heart..." are the words he used. I feel that many times, like today and how the Lord has blessed and continues to bless my life.

Paying the price

2008-11-05T22:38:00.016-07:00

Wow-it has been far too long since my last post. So much has been going on, I don't know where to begin nor do I feel it is necessary to go into great detail of all the events of my life since I last posted. :) It hasn't been anything out of the ordinary, per se, just 'life' at its finest.

I will just post for today instead of feeling overwhelmed at trying to play catch-up. I spoke with my parents today. My mom recently had surgery and has been home, so I have been able to talk to her almost every day this week! It has been great!

Tonight I was able to talk with my father, who I also love to talk with. He and I have a connection that I can't explain on spiritual matters. We are cut from the same cloth, I feel. :) Anyway, we were talking about his lesson he was preparing for this Sunday and he shared a qoute with me from Elder Bruce R McConkie: "Now let us come to ...a conclusion that will have an important bearing on our eternal salvation. It is that each person must learn the doctines of the gospel for himself. No one else can do it for him. Each person stands alone where gospel shcolarship is concerned; each has access to the same scriptures and is entitled to the guidance of the same Holy spirit; each must pay the price set by a Divine Providence if he is to gain the pearl of great price....And as a just God offers the same salvation to every soul who lives the same laws, so he offers the same understanding of his eternal truths to all who will pay the truth seeker's price." (Teaching, No greater Call, p. 61) What is that 'price' Elder McConkie speaks of? that each 'truth seeker' must pay? Something I want to ponder more on personally.

I have been thinking about a different 'price' we are asked to pay as followers of Jesus Christ lately: the stands we must make at different times in our lives. Especially with the elections that have just past, with a such a focus on Proposition 8. I don't live in California, but I fully supported the pursuit of making sure the divine instution of marriage is preserved the way God intended it to be. The margin was minimal and frightening between those who were for it and those against. It has been interesting to hear different peoples responses to the topic in class and work settings. What price are we willing to pay to show our allegance to our Father in Heaven? Are we willing to take a stand? Especially in times like these? Our God-given gift of agency allows us to choose, our entire society is based on that freedom. How are we exercising that freedom? That is the frightening part to me: what we are choosing as a whole in society. We are the creators of our own destiny, God will allow us to witness the consequences of our actions. I can't help but think of Sodom and Gomorrah and what transpired there. Genesis 19 (http://scriptures.lds.org/en/gen/19/24,28#24)

The wickedness of the people has been compared to what we see in our day by President Gordon B. Hinckley. He said “No one need tell you that we are living in a very difficult season in the history of the world. Standards are dropping everywhere. Nothing seems to be sacred anymore.

“… I do not know that things were worse in the times of Sodom and Gomorrah. … I think our Father must weep as He looks down upon His wayward sons and daughters.”
He continues: "“We must not give up. We must not become discouraged. We must never surrender to the forces of evil. … If it means standing alone, we must do it.
“But we shall not be alone.”

-Gordon B. Hinckley, Standing Strong and Immovable,” Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting, Jan. 10, 2004, 20.

Another quote is from President Boyd K. Packer of the 12 Apostles. He said: "Civilizations, like Sodom and Gomorrah, destroyed themselves by disobedience to the laws of morality. “For the Spirit of the Lord will not always strive with man. And when the Spirit ceaseth to strive with man then cometh speedy destruction.” (2 Ne. 26:11; see also Gen. 6:3; Ether 2:15; D&C 1:33; Moses 8:17.)

God grant that we will come to our senses and protect our moral environment from this mist of darkness which deepens day by day. The fate of all humanity hangs precariously in the balance." -Boyd K. Packer, “Our Moral Environment,” Ensign, May 1992, 66

I don't mean to sound like a dooms-dayer-I just think we need to stop sometimes in this crazy whirlwind of life and THINK. Really try and understand what is going on around us, such as times like this. Realize we have great power in how we choose to live our lives and whom we choose to serve. I pray we can continue to 'protect our moral environment'. It is up to us. It is well worth the price.

Proposition 8

2008-10-22T10:26:00.004-06:00

I was reading the Church News and an article they had about a special broadcast they had concerning Proposition 8 in California. There was a special broadcast concerning the upcoming vote in a few weeks and counsel to members concering the matter. In this article, it listed a website from the church
http://www.preservingmarriage.org/index.html
with videos and other information concerning the institution of marriage and how to protect it. I have been reading up on the ammendment and all its implications. This is one of those defining moments in our lives where we are asked to take a stand or fall in with the crowd. Read up and let me know what you think. You can post your comments right on here.

the continuing story.....

2008-10-15T10:45:00.003-06:00

Just an addition to yesterday's experience, my professor for my evening class extended the due date for our assignment (that was due last night) to next tuesday night!! The blessings continue to fall like rain. I need to make sure I don't waste away this week in procrastination, especially since I have been granted more time.

A sick professor

2008-10-14T16:31:00.013-06:00

Do you ever have those moments where you KNOW that you have been given extension of life?! :) Okay-I wasn't physically DYING or anything, but had that feeling today that I had been on my death bed and been granted another day of life. Tuesdays are my busiest days as I am out the door by 7:15 am and don't return home usually until around 9 pm between work and classes. I was up until 1:30 lastnight and as I was lying in bed, I was contemplating what I could skip today so I could keep my sanity. :) Well, as you very well guessed, NOTHING was what I came up with. I have a hard time ever justifying missing anything - work or school- unless I am dying. (or last week, I missed a lecture class to finish a project and paper-i was riddle with guilt the ENTIRE night!!) I have a heavy load again this week and was feeling that today, wondering how I was going to get everything accomplished-including for my 3 hour class tonight!! So I started out my scheduled day as planned: teach spanish, work at bookstore, psychology class. After psychology, I headed over to my history class in the building next door. Our professor is usually there 5 or so minutes early to class and wasn't there today a few minutes after class was supposed to start. She told us if that ever happened to call her. Come to find out she is sick and the history department hadn't gotten over to the building to post a note for us that class was canceled. I normally would NEVER rejoice in someone's illness, but it was a blessed announcement! My friend Ally who was sitting next to me-together we breathed a sigh of relief, as we were both feeling the weight of our loads this week and were grateful for a few extra hours!

I knew in that moment that it was a blessing from a loving Heavenly Father, disguised as a sick professor. I am learning how the Lord works, and this is a prime example. I was blessed with a little extra time to come home and better prepare for an assignment that is due for my class tonight and do a little bit more research for a GINORMOUS paper I have to write for that same class. AND I was able to write a little bit here and to remember that God is ever mindful of us in all the details of our lives-down to the very seconds of our existence.

SNOW DAY

2008-10-10T18:51:00.003-06:00

It snowed today!!! It had been raining off and on all day and it finally turned to snow. So beautiful!!

Our deepest fear

2008-10-09T17:25:00.011-06:00

I was reminded of a great quote I had heard years ago. It was originally quoted to be from Nelson Mandela, but I could only find it under another name. It is a great quote neverthelss. :) I hope you enjoy it as well.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

God loves you THAT much

2008-10-07T07:07:00.003-06:00

I just finished reading an article by Elder Neal A Maxwell and wanted to post something he said for today.
"This is the Lord's work. There is nothing else that even approaches it in significance. And you have been called to carry it forward today in a time of opportunity such as we have never seen before. God loves you that much."

It is good to be reminded who really cares about our well-being and what He has entrusted us with, as a manifestation of His love. We are so blessed to know Him and know of our purpose here.

smooth and polished

2008-10-06T06:11:00.003-06:00

I was reading this morning about experiences of life and the importance of character. I was reading in the scriptures of those who have gone through affliction and it has been for their good. (Doctrine and Covenants 122:7)

Elder Neal A. Maxwell says about character, "It is much easier in this life to BE a character than to HAVE character. ...we see characters before us in the media all the time. To have character is a special and wonderful thing, but to develop it is not a pain-free process." /em>Sharing insights from my life

The Prophet Joseph Smith said "I am like a huge, rough stone rolling down from a high mountain; and the only polishing I get is when some corner gets rubbed off by coming in contact with something else, striking with accelerated force...all hell knocking off a corner here and a corner there. Thus I will become a smooth and polished shaft in the quiver of the Almighty." (Teachings, p. 304)

There is a purpose to all that happens in our lives and can be for our good, if we let it. I am realizing that it is a matter of choice if we do-if we learn what God intends us to learn from our 'daily tutorials'. I'm grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who knows exactly what I need to continue in the polishing process.

General Conference

2008-10-04T23:25:00.016-06:00

Yes-it has been a week and a half since I have posted anything. I have been feeling that Satan had mounted a 'frontal assault' on me, as Elder Perry so eloquently put it. I haven't had very positive thoughts, so I decided I shouldn't write anything. I have been eagerly awaiting General Conference this weekend and had been praying for direction. The president of the Relief Society in our stake shared with us a few weeks ago that everytime she attended the temple, she had a question in her heart. I thought that was a great idea to ask the Lord specifically. The temple is a place you can go to reflect on what really matters in this life and receive direction on our part in it. I thought the same principle could apply to conference- it being a time of reflection and a time to receive personal direction concerning our existence. So I had a question for both sessions today. I even made it a matter of pray WHAT I should pray for, as I know my Father in Heaven knows best what I need at this time. I felt inspired with a certain question in the morning session and asked it in prayer and sat down to listen to the session. I was AMAZED at how much direction I received from each talk. I did the same thing for the afternoon session.
I was filled with every emotion as I listened. I was amazed how well Heavenly Father knows me and knew exactly what I needed; I felt tinges of guilt as I was reminded of things I need to be doing better; I was filled with love: the love my Heavenly Father has for me. All that I felt and learned is too lengthy, and some too sacred to share here. But I just wanted to make a brief post and tell all who feel that satan has 'mounted a full frontal assault' on them-know that you are not forgotten. God is ever mindful of ALL of His children, wherever we are. "The dial on the wheel of sorrow at one time or another points to us" (Elder Joseph B Wirthlin) at one time or another. I am grateful for this 'on the job' experiences, as Elder Wirthlin put it. How ever dark it may get, we are not left alone. Of that I am sure.

broken arms, giraffes and kindred :)

2008-09-24T09:04:00.011-06:00

I just got back from teaching Spanish this morning and have a little break before I head to work on campus and class. I have the cutest group of kids on Mon/Wed! They are so excited about learning and participating-that makes a huge difference in what they learn. We are learning about colors and their names this week and we played color bingo today-Madeline's choice since she was the first to arrive to class. The kids did really great and even my newest student, Connor, was so excited to be there! For bingo, he would yell out the shape and color with such excitement! Wow! TRIANGULO ROJO!!! It was so cute. He and one of my other students both have a broken arm-2 kids in the same class. The other little girl who has a broken arm has come up to me the last two classes and asked me how to say something in spanish. Last time it was 'broken arm' and today it was 'giraffe'.(she had a small stuffed giraffe with her in class) She enthusiastically repeats what I teach her and says 'ADIOS!' to me as she heads out the door to the playground. I am so grateful for this opportunity to do this-to be able to have this experience. I know that it is a tender mercy of the Lord that I am able to be a part of this program right now.

I was reading in the scriptures, in the Book of Mormon today. I was reading in 3 Nephi 7 about this particular group who were once righteous and had become a very wicked people. They were now dividing themselves into 'tribes' against each other according to each leader's 'families and his kindred and friends' (v.2). I was reminded in reading this chapter how Satan can pervert everything for ill-down to the sacred unit of the family. Those bonds that can be a source of strength for good to buoy us up can be twisted and used for evil as we see here. 'the people were divided one against another...they did seperate one from another...every man according to his family and his kindred and friends'...'..the regulations of the government were destroyed, because of the secret combination of the friends and kindreds of those who murdered the prophets.' We see the word 'destroyed' used in the same sentence with words so beautiful as 'friends and kindred'. There is great power in who you have around you to support you and with whom you choose to spend your time. I am so grateful for the family that Heavenly Father has blessed me to be born into who help build, not destroy. Who support, not abandon. Also for amazing friends who I am privileged to know. It makes a world of differnce.

FOREVER STRONG AND THE GUARDS OF THE TOMB OF THE UNKNOWN SOLIDER

2008-09-22T22:36:00.024-06:00

Trina and I just returned from the premiere of a movie titled "FOREVER STRONG".

We went with our family home evening group and I was very impressed with the movie. I wasn't sure about going because it was PG-13, considering my last experience with giving PG-13's. I also couldn't find any reviews about the movie that would tell me why it was rated as such-so I was undecided. Then I heard it was sponsored by Deseret Book and they said that Sheri Dew gave her stamp of approval on the film and I felt it would be alright. So we went and it was really a great show! Very inspirational and thought provoking, two very important qualities for me in a good film. www.rugbymovie.com It had a lot of great messages, one of them being the character of the highland team rugby team. In order to be part of the team that had to not drink or do drugs, not be with women, etc. One of the players asked the coach 'how will you know if we don't do those thing?' and he said that they would tell him because of the kind of men they were. The coach also, as part of their practice time, sit down with each of the boys one by one, and talk with them-he could tell he really cared for them. I was really impressed with the players commitment to hold true to themselves and the standards asked of them. You could tell of the love the coach had for them and the comradery that existed among the team that they wanted to be their very best. The coach taught them that he wanted them to be 'forever strong' on the field, so they could be 'forever strong' off the field.

It also reminded me of a talk that was given yesterday by one of our high councilmen in our stake. He spoke of the guards at the tomb of the unknown soldier.
He spoke of what one has to do to BE a soldier at this sacred place: how they have to promise to live their lives a certain way, how long it takes them to prepare their uniform for a days work, how many steps they have to take around each side of the tomb, etc. The guards have to commit to 2 years of their life to guard the tomb, and cannot drink any alcohol on or off duty FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES. They cannot swear in public FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES and cannot disgrace the uniform {fighting} or the tomb in any way.

After TWO YEARS, the guard is given a wreath pin that is worn on their lapel signifying they served as guard of the tomb. There are only 400 presently worn. The guard must obey these rules for the rest of their lives or give up the wreath pin.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-vetscor/1126293/posts

24 hours a day this tomb is guarded by these guards-rain or shine.

This high councilmen (forgive me for his anonymity, his name escapes me at the moment) spoke of how when a tropical storm threatened and the soldiers were told they didn't have to guard, as the storm was threatening the area. But the soldiers said they would still perform their duty-regardless-and continued to take their turns, soaked through their uniforms in the storm as they dutifully took their turn.

I am impressed by both of these examples: of their dedication to stand true and resolute to what they know in EVERY aspect of their lives-rain or shine, on and off the field. The same thing that God asks of us and our lives-rain or shine, on and off the field-that we may be FOREVER STRONG.

Something to think about.

Hablando Espanol Y Pruebas

2008-09-16T22:36:00.005-06:00

I started teaching my spanish classes yesterday and I am very excited for this experience. I work for a non-profit organization and we go and teach spanish at different elementary schools in the valley. It started out with one group of kids in one elementary school back in the 90's and has grown to 8 schools with 2-4 groups at each school. It is exciting to be a part of such a grass roots organization-you can just feel the growth potential and great opportunity it will be. I met both my groups and they are the cutest! I have the youngest groups which consist of Kindergarten-2nd grade, depending on the school. I need to get to bed soon so I can be up and at 'em by 5:30.

I have been feeling like I have been pushed in a little bit farther into the refiner's fire as of late, crazy to say, I am grateful. I don't care for the pain as the flames get hotter, but I am grateful for the growth and understanding that can only come through these personalized experiences. I know my Heavenly Father loves me and hears my prayers. He knows exactly what I need, tailor-made experiences to help me acheive what I am here to achieve. Unfortunately Satan is aware of that as well-but I'M NOT SCARED. :) Bring it on.

Reflecting

2008-09-14T22:36:00.006-06:00

I just got back a bit ago from a fireside on Jesus Christ. It was an exhibit I mentioned a few days ago on here about Jesus Christ that had traveled from AZ.

REFLECTIONS OF CHRIST

(you can watch a video presentation with music of the images here at this link)

It was amazing-the photographer of the exhibit spoke aand several other gentlemen who were part of the musical aspect of the exhibit came and sang. It was beautiful. The most light BSU campus has seen in a LONG time. :) (that is where the fireside was-up on campus) I received some direction concerning some different things in my life while I was sitting there listening and was very moved in reflecting on what Jesus Christ REALLY did for each of us, what was made possible. I was grateful to be a part of it. I know that Jesus Christ died for us-even if it was for just one of us-for you-he would have suffered what He did. He loves us that much. I am so grateful for that knowledge.

Grateful

2008-09-10T22:02:00.007-06:00

Do you ever have those days were you cannot deny that God exists and that He is mindful of you? I had one of those today. It wasn't one specific thing-but a million tiny little things-all testifying that He knows me personally and knows my heart. He knows that I needed to be reminded. I had several phone calls and messages from family and friends calling to tell me they loved me or just making sure I was okay. They had no idea of anything that was going on in my life-but God did and knew how much that would mean to me and that it would remind me that He knows me. It also reminds me how God works-through us. We ARE His hands here in mortality-if we don't act on those feelings, someone may be denied the reminder that God knows them and is aware of their needs. That reminds me of an account I heard years ago about a statue over in Europe of Jesus Christ.

Following World War II some German students volunteered to help rebuild a cathedral in England, one that had been badly damaged by the Luftwaffe bombings. As the work progressed, they weren't sure how to best restore a large statue of Jesus with arms outstretched and bearing the familiar inscription, "Come unto me."

They were able to repair all the damage to the statue except for Christ's hands which had been completely destroyed. Should they even attempt to rebuild these?

Finally, the workers reached a decision that still stands today. They decided to leave the hands off and changed the inscription to read: "Christ has no hands but ours."

(This isn't the same statue, this one is actually in Africa. But the same message)

Several different things happened today along with the phone calls that reminded me of my Heavenly Father's love for me. I am grateful beyond words for that.

Night of darkness (Alma 34:33) and today is the day

2008-09-08T20:53:00.019-06:00

Today was a great day, although the title would have you believe otherwise. :) I worked this morning at the bookstore on campus. It was the last day for a full refund on textbooks and needless the say the lines were LONG.

Which was fine-I love to work with people and I don't take it personally when they are upset. I just experienced what I feel is the closest I EVER want to experience of what the scriptures speak of procrastination and when there is nothing that can be done-times up. I have done it numberous times in my life and know what it feels like-but being on the other end was interesting. Anyone who knows me, knows I don't say it in a judgemental way-I am just as imperfect and human. It was just sad to witness as people at the point of frustration and I was bound by certain store policies and could do nothing to help them in their predicament. A few people yelled and swore-stress levels were high. I felt bad for them, but there was only so much I could do.

I don't know what it will really be like when that 'night of darkness' comes-I don't want to know first hand what that will feel like to wait until the bitter end to resolve things in my life or take care of past wrongs-I don't want to be on my death bed, pleading for forgiveness of others or from God. I want to be at peace each day of my life-I strive for that in my imperfectness. There is a great quote that is from President Howard W. Hunter, former Prophet-at the moment I can't find it-I will have to continue to look for it. It talked about the urgency of today to take care of things-to forgive someone, forgive a debt, etc....Here is a great one by Elder Wirthlin who is one of the 12 Apostles reminding us about the urgency of today.

"Tomorrow's joy or tomorrow's despair has its roots in decisions we make today. Perhaps some people think to themselves: 'I know I need to change some things in my life. Maybe later, but not now.' Those who stand at the threshold of life always waiting for the right time to change are like the man who stands at the bank of a river waiting for the water to pass so he can cross on dry land. Today is the day of decision."
--Joseph B. Wirthlin, "Three Choices," Ensign, Nov. 2003, 78

Today is the day.

THERE IS HOPE SHINING BRIGHTLY BEFORE US

2008-09-07T20:53:00.013-06:00

Today was a great day. I went to church and was able to renew my covenants with my Heavenly Father and reflect on my relationship with him. I appreciate that time to reflect and remember. Elder Joseph Fielding Smith calls sacrament meeting "the most sacred, the most holy of all the meetings of the Church." (Doctrines of Salvation, Bruce R McKonkie, 2:340) There is a talk given by Elder Holland where he says "...this ordinance commemorating our escape from the angel of darkness should be taken more seriously than it sometimes is. It should be powerful, reverent, reflective moment. It should encourage spiritual feelings and impressions. As such it should not be rushed. It is not something to 'get over' so that the real purpose of a sacrament meeting can be pursued. This IS the real purpose of the meeting." (General Conference October 1995, Sunday morning session) I was grateful I had the opportunity to remember and renew today.

Then my roomates Trina and Ericka and our friend Carol had dinner before we headed to a fireside by the same Elder Holland mentioned above.

He shared a great message, comparing the experience the Prophet Joseph Smith had in Liberty Jail to challenges we face in our lives. He spoke of how we will all spend time in our own Liberty Jail's-hard times in our lives. Along with that thought, he said that 'EVERY experience can become a redemptive experience IF we stay close to the Lord."

Elder Hollands Talk (available at this link in about a week for viewing and listening)

Something else Elder Holland said "The path of righteousness has always led one way or another through the Garden of Gethsemane." He spoke of the trials, but he also spoke of HOPE-how the load we are called to bear sometimes is heavy, but it would be alot heavier if it wasn't for the sacrifice of Jesus Christ which makes possible that he lightens our loads. That God has not forgotten us. He reminded us that even during the trying times we can still receive light and revelation in our lives. I am so grateful for these truths-that can give guidance and light in a mist of darkness.

A good question.....

2008-09-05T12:16:00.003-06:00

I was reading an article written by N. Eldon Tanner from the Ensign of June 1971 where he reiterated a question he had heard before:

“If we were to be arrested for being Christians, I wonder if there would be enough evidence to convict us?”

I thought it a good question to ponder on-something to think about. Any thoughts you want to share on it-PLEASE do so!!

Reflections of Christ

2008-08-31T19:03:00.013-06:00

http://mabrystudios.typepad.com/reflections_of_christ/

I was told about this photography show that the institute is bringing here that was apparently organized by members of the church. I just heard about it today so I am still learning all about how it came to be. It intrigued me from one photographer to another, so I thought I would check into it. Above is the connection to the website of 'Reflections of Christ' is what the show is called. You can watch a brief slideshow with music at this link. (The image above is also a part of the exhibit. It is a depiction of Jesus and John the Baptist after Christ was baptized. I had never thought of the emotion they both must have felt after that joyous occasion. Beautifully captured.)

The images are very moving. It is coming here to Boise in the next few weeks sometime, along with the artist and others. (it will be a fireside with music and everything) What an amazing experience to be a part of such a project!! The spirit that must have been there and the reverance and awe that prevailed amongst those who participated. One of those experiences that they will hopefully never forget. I am grateful for talented people who follow inspiration such as this that we might always REMEMBER Jesus Christ-that we may not be recorded in history as those people who had forgetten Him.

Just keep spinning and a visit to the temple

2008-08-31T00:26:00.015-06:00

Today has been a nice relaxing day. Ahh...... I thought about going somewhere for the weekend-taking advantage of having a four day weekend-but I opted to be able to take it easy at home. It has been really nice. Especially after the first of this week!! Yikes! I decided to attend my spin cycle class I hadn't been to since april.
I had been riding my bike outside on the greenbelt trail (a trail here that runs along the Boise river)
for the summer. It was nice to be back in this class as it tends to challenge me more than the trails I have been on here. There are not many climbs like I am used to in Utah-so today was nice to be pushed. I came home and made waffles and cleaned the house. I then took a nice long shower and a nap. Does it GET any better than that?! :)

After my nap I was able to attend the temple. I have felt a renewed sense of appreciation for the temple and what a blessing it is as of late. I have tried to go more often. It was nice to go and not to be in any hurry-but to savor the experience. It was very rejuvenating.

I even went and got a frosty from Wendy's afterward (I know-shocking) and had a nice drive home down the back roads. (Dont worry-I didn't eat it like this. :) I was excited to eat it though....)

There was the BSU football game tonight and wondered if I would run into any traffic from it-but I was heading the other direction and missed it all COMPLETELY. Another bonus.

I am not getting ready to go to bed, but I wanted to write a little something before I did so.

I am excited for tomorrow and the spiritual nourishment that will come in attending church and to be able to renew my baptismal covenants through the sacrament.

I have a few friends who are struggling with the lack of perfect people at church. They are both converts and they hold high standards (as well they should) as to those who have the restored gospel in their lives-that they should behave accordingly. As we all know, that is not always the case. The gospel is for the imperfect and as someone once said (it has escaped my mind who at the moment) that Christ had a perfect church before He let us in it.

Proclaiming truth

2008-08-29T13:22:00.004-06:00

I found this clip on youtube-it is a presentation focused on a talk given by Elder Jeffrey R Holland, one of the 12 living Apostles today. I know what he says is true.

Part 1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8JK_8KiuUc&feature=related

Part 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RldgoPz57hs&feature=related

Remember

2008-08-29T11:36:00.028-06:00

Well this week has been a most eventful one: being the first week of school and working 30 hours on top of 15 credits. It has been a character building experience. Today I slept in-in celebration that I didn't have to be to work at 7 am. It was very nice and I feel well rested to get busy on homework and other tasks I have been neglecting in my business.

I was studying this morning in the Book of Mormon in Helaman 5, where the majority of the Nephites have become wicked and "weak, like unto their brethren, the Lamanites.." (Helaman 4:23) and Nephi and Lehi (who are Nephites) are asked to 'remember': remember to keep the commandments, remember their ancestors whos names they bear, to do good, remember the words of prophets in days past, remember that through Christ all things are possible. I was thinking about this word 'remember' and the powerful significance it holds in our lives, and how easily we forget. How easily we forget who made us and gives us life from day to day.

After reading the verse in Helaman 5, verse 12 (page 378) where Nephi and Lehi were commanded again to 'remember': '...REMEMBER that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Sond of God, that ye must build your foundation..." I was thinking about how true that phrase is: that Christ is the truest and surest foundation we can build our lives upon. Everything else is shifty and uncertain. With Christ as our foundation, we are promised that "when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yeah, his shafts in the whirlwind...when ALL his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shal have NO power over you to drag you down.." (verse 12 continued) I know that is true!! I know that if build our lives on obedience to God's commandments and simply do what He asks of us through the words of the scriptures and of the Prophets living and dead: we will find protection from lifes storms.

Although it is a challenge in the business of life to always REMEMBER our Savior, we can do it and find great peace. I was listening to a talk by President Eyring-the first he gave in his newly called position as counselor to our Prophet, President Monson. He talks of the importance of remembering God daily-taking note of how He has blessed us each day-abundantly so when we are obedient. He talks of how easy it is to forget who gave us those blessings-

"...forgetting God has been such a persistent problem among His children since the world began. Think of the times of Moses, when God provided manna and in miraculous and visible ways led and protected His children. Still, the prophet warned the people who had been so blessed, as prophets always have warned and always will: “Take heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently, lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen, and lest they depart from thy heart all the days of thy life.”3
“…the challenge to remember has always been the hardest for those who are blessed abundantly. Those who are faithful to God are protected and prospered. That comes as the result of serving God and keeping His commandments. But with those blessings comes the temptation to forget their source. It is easy to begin to feel the blessings were granted not by a loving God on whom we depend but by our own powers." -Elder Henry B Eyring, O Remember, Remember, General Conference October 2007

As I sit in quiet reflection of this weeks events (as I haven't had much down time to do that until now) I know that everything I have been able to accomplish physically, mentally-has been because of God. I feel He can bless us with an added measure of strength and endurance for whatever is asked of us. This week ALOT has been asked of me. I know that however hectic life gets, God will always make me equal to the task IF I continue in obedience and have Him as my foundation.

I am so grateful for this knowledge. Beyond expression with words.

Coming soon to a theatre near you..

2008-08-28T22:47:00.002-06:00

Ok-maybe not to a theater-but right here for your reading pleasure. :) I have had a crazy week so far but I don't have to be back to work until next tuesday so I will have a little bit more time to write something this weekend. So check back soon.

Crazy schedule and Temple Dedication

2008-08-24T21:06:00.016-06:00

I have a few posts I started but haven't had the time or the energy to finish as of late. I wanted to make sure I posted SOMETHING before school starts tomorrow. My schedule has been picking up in busy-ness gradually, for which I am grateful. I have been going through a training period at work and I have been working part-time and LOVING it! I love that I get to interact with such a variety of people every day and help them get ready for the upcoming semester. I even have my wardrobe picked out for me this week!!! What more could I ask for??!! :) (In honor of the first week of school, we have been provided with ORANGE 'Bronco Welcome' t-shirts.)

This week is going to be super busy starting at 7:30 tomorrow morning. I was hoping to get a copy of my schedule on here, but I couldn't get load up right. I am working a shift until 1 pm then I have class at 1:40. After class I am scheduled for ANOTHER shift from 3:15-7:30. Then I start at 7:30 again the following day with class until 9 at night after my shift. You see where I am going with this schedule? Nuts!! It is what I signed up for though-and the crazy schedule will only last a few weeks until things calm down.

Oh!! I almost forgot!! I have good news!! This particular job I have at the bookstore was only a temporary position, but I decided to take it. I was hoping it would maybe be something that developed into full-time after RUSH week was over-but the gentleman who interviewed me told me he couldn't promise anything. I took it anyway and I have really enjoyed it. ANyway...the man who hired me asked if he could talk to me after work on friday and...he offered me a permanent position once RUSH week was over!!! This really is an answer to prayers as I wasn't sure how things were going to pan out in the end-but I am again reminded how when we do our best, the Lord does the rest. No need to worry about how things will turn out if we but just trust in Him.

Something else I wanted to write about was the Twin Falls Temple dedication that happened tonight.
Our stake here in Boise was blessed with the opportunity to be a part of that. They made our stake center an extension of the temple and we were able to be a part of it via broadcast. It was really a unique opportunity, for which I am grateful. President Monson and President Eyring were there, along with Elder Cook of the 12 and Elder Costa of the Seventy. I left with a renewed appreciation for our temples and all that goes into building one, all the sacrifice. I feel I walked away with a better understanding of the word 'dedication' and the power that comes from that. I feel like we were a part of something great tonight-something greater than we will probably ever understand in this lifetime. For that I am grateful.

It is now very late and I must get to bed-I have an early day tomorrow. I will post more again soon-I hoped to write more about the dedication, but time has gotten away from me. I will try to add more soon.

Pictures from the temple

2008-08-17T22:07:00.003-06:00

Here are some actual pictures of our temple trip. My roommate Trina was gracious enough to give me copies of her pictures and let me take a few with her camera. So here they are.

The temple

2008-08-12T23:51:00.048-06:00

We just arrived home a bit ago from the temple open house in Twin Falls, ID.
It is to be dedicated on August 24th of this year.

I am so glad we went-it was a sweet experience. I am grateful we were able to go. My roommates and I had planned to attend back in July and set the date for today. We arrived there and were given instructions to go into the chapel right next to the temple. We waited a few minutes and were ushered into another room to watch a video presentation on temples and on this temple in particular. Ever since we entered the chapel, I had noticed this man who was sitting by himself. I kept feeling that I should go and talk to him and sit by him. Finally after the video I got a chance to talk to him. His name is Mark. I know this entry will do nothing to explain how I felt in talking to him and what understanding I received from the experience-but I want to log it all down while it is fresh in my memory in hopes to always remember it. It was one of those experiences where you meet someone who you will probably never see again, but you will never be the same (for the better) from the experience.

After we left the stake center, we walked onto the temple grounds to enter the temple. We stopped a few times before we entered with our tour guide as she told us about the angel Moroni on top of the temple, and to tell us about the inscription on the front of the temple: Holiness to the Lord." That is when I spoke to Mark and told him if he wanted to go through with us, he could. He gave me a big smile. I toured the temple with him, as I felt to stay by his side. One of my roommates had met up with an old friend and my other roommate was with her boyfriend, so it worked out perfectly that I stayed with him.

We walked through the temple and stopped in several different rooms: the baptistry, a couple sealing rooms, an endowment room, and the celestial room. I felt the spirit so strong throughout our tiime there and was reminded of how blessed we are to have these places that we might come closer to our Heavenly Father and find refuge for a time from life. My favorite time was in the celestial room as we stood and soaked in the feeling and the sun's warm rays beaming through the west windows. The rays hit the chandelier and lit up the entire room. It was breathtaking. One of our tour guides who took us into one of the sealing rooms shared with us her belief in eternal families as she was sealed in the temple to her husband who had passed away and their eight children. She testified that she new she would see him again and be with her family forever.

There was a painting on the walls of one of the endowment room of the Shoshone Falls right there in Twin and other scenery. It was beautiful-I felt I could see for miles into the picture. I know that all who were present felt of that same spirit-I hope they remember it always as well. That takes me back to my new friend, Mark. I learned that he had just been baptized last saturday. I also learned it was because he had come to tour the temple that he decided to be baptized. He came to tour the temple to get two of his co-workers off his back, he said, about attending the open house. He felt such peace that he has come back every day since. He told me how sad he was that the 16th (this saturday) would be the last time he could come in for awhile. I wish you could have seen his face as he shared that with me-I could sense his heartache that he would have to wait a season before he could come back. He knew he would have to wait a year. What would it be like if everyone treasured the temple like that? A pang of guilt washed over me as I thought of my own lack of appreciation for the Lord's house. With that I also felt a renewed sense of commitment and determination to appreciate being so close and having the ability to attend the temple as often as I would like. I was reminded that the Spirit can teach you the truthfulness of ALL things. (2 Nephi 32:5)

After the tour, there was a room in the stake center that had displays and missionaries were there to answer any questions anyone had concerning there experience. There were some refreshments, of course. :) I teased Mark that I now knew the real reason he came was for the cookies. He agreed and just smiled and laughed.

I am grateful my Heavenly Father allowed me to meet him and learn what I did from him. I made sure to tell him that before we parted ways. He is a very timid man and you could tell he wasn't used to such words as it left him without words. He figited with his napkin and would barely look at me while I spoke and thanked him.
I am so grateful for modern conveniences that afforded us the opportunity to drive the distance in the time we had to have this experience.

Are we ready?

2008-08-06T22:43:00.006-06:00

Yesterday was my roomate Ranee's birthday and she wanted to go to dinner for the celebration. As we were driving on our way to the restaurant, we decided to drive onto 'the connector' here in Boise. Anyone who lives here knows this stretch of road very well, as it helps you get to several locations in the valley a little quicker. You jump on it in the downtown area and it eventually connects up to the interestate where you can head east or west on your journey. As we were just getting onto the connector, I noticed the brake lights of the cars in the lanes to the right of me so I started to slow down. I looked up ahead and noticed a person doing what looked like somersaults across the road. It was a young man-he finally stopped in the middle lane of traffic on our side of the connector. I stopped my car and jumped out to see if he was alright. There was a man that actually witnessed what happened up ahead who had turned around and another woman that had jumped out and was running towards him. We tried to get him to stay horizontal until paramedics arrived, but he kept trying to get up. He had a helmet on and he kept asking where his bike was. The man who witnessed it all said 'it's down there, ,man', pointing to the area open to the road below between the two sides of the connector. According to the police report, he was heading in the opposite direction of us on his motorcycle and he popped a wheely going about 80 mph. He somehow lost control and ended up jumping over the cement embankment on the side of the road-bike dropping in the space between-him landing on the other side in a roll across the 2 lanes of traffic. It was a miracle he was even alive as it was also rush hour traffic he was riding in. (Here is the link for the news report)
http://www.kivitv.com/Global/story.asp?S=8794771

I have been the first on the scene to a few accidents, never really prepared for what you will view or how you will feel. One thing that I always seem to feel is how precious life really is. How from one moment to the next, your probation time could be over-just like that. Are we ready? Are we ready to give an account of our time here?

Elder Oaks, one of the living apostles, poses some great questions: "What if the day of His coming were tomorrow? If we knew that we would meet the Lord tomorrow—through our premature death or through His unexpected coming—what would we do today? What confessions would we make? What practices would we discontinue? What accounts would we settle? What forgivenesses would we extend? What testimonies would we bear?

If we would do those things then, why not now? Why not seek peace while peace can be obtained? If our lamps of preparation are drawn down, let us start immediately to replenish them." Elder Dallin H. Oaks, Preparing for the Second Coming, Liahona, May 2004

It just got me thinking-snapped my thoughts quickly to 'am I ready?' Something to think about.....

BEAR WITNESS

2008-08-03T09:10:00.012-06:00

I received a very special gift recently from a friend that I have been given permission to share with whomever I feel. I decided what better place to do so than here on this blog, that all of you might have the opportunity to view it as well.

My friend, Joaquin, has created a video of his testimony of Jesus Christ and his feelings in being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The video is both in English and Spanish. I will post below what he wrote concerning the video as I feel it expresses his feelings perfectly of what you are about to view.

I hope you take the time to view this clip. I know that the truths that Joaquin shares in this video are true and if you have never heard them before-or maybe you have forgotten how precious they are-listen now-they will bless your life far greater than you ever dreamed possible.

(IN ENGLISH)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=WQCO76kae3E

(Joaquin's words concerning the video clip)

"I am sharing with you what I consider the most precious treasure in my life. I have recorded a home video and uploaded to the Internet, so others who may be looking for that same priceless treasure (as I did) may benefit of what I am so fortunate to have.

I did this following the advice of a good and inspired person (Elder Ballard, a living apostle of Jesus Christ), even though I had feelings about doing this long time ago. Now is done J! You may or may not be a member of my faith, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. This does not matter. I consider you my brother or sister, a precious friend. But if you are LDS, I encourage you to do the same I have done (if you have not done it yet). Raise your voice and let others know (even through the Interenet) who "mormons" (or members of the true and living Church of the living Christ) really are. I do this because I feel sorrow (and won´t be silent) when a few people, full of ignorance or with wrong intentions, fearful and contentious attempt to wrongly define and tell in the internet who we are."

(EN ESPANOL)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcechFZJswY

"Quiero compartir contigo lo que yo considero el tesoro más preciado de mi vida. He grabado un video casero (en español y en inglés) que ahora está en internet para que las personas que quieran saber sobre verdades fundamentales (las cuales yo busqué por muchos años), puedan tener acceso a respuestas verdaderas y a las bendiciones de las que yo soy tan afortunado de disfrutar.

Decidí grabar este video siguiendo el consejo de una persona muy buena y muy inspirada (el Elder Ballard, un apostol viviente de Jesucristo), sin embargo, ya hacía mucho tiempo que yo sentía en mi corazón que debía hacer esto. ¡Ahora está hecho J y mi conciencia tranquila! Puede que tu seas o no miembro de la iglesia a la que yo pertenezco, La Iglesia de Jesucristo de los Santos de los Últimos Días. No importa. Te considero mi hermano/a, amigo/a. Te aprecio y te quiero igual, sin importar las diferencias en nuestras creencias. Si no eres miembro, te invito a contemplar, meditar y orar sobre el contenido del video. Si así lo haces enriquecerás tu vida de una manera que nunca podrías imaginar. Y si eres miembro (Santo de los Últimos Días), te animo a hacer lo mismo que yo (si no lo has hecho ya): a compartir también en internet lo que tu sabes que es verdad. Hazte oir y que otros que no saben sobre nosotros sepan quienes son realmente los "mormones" (miembros de la Iglesia viviente y verdadera del Cristo viviente) y el tesoro que tenemos y debemos compartir con el mundo. Hago esto, en parte, porque me entristece y no puedo guardar silencio cuando algunas personas llenas de ignoracia o con males intenciones, prejuicios y temores utilizan internet para definir o decir muy equivocadamente quien somos y en qué creemos."

THE KING'S SON

2008-08-03T08:59:00.002-06:00

I had heard this story years ago and came upon it again from a talk given by Vaughn J Featherstone recently titled 'The King's Son'.

"Many years ago I heard the story of the son of King Louis XVI of France. King Louis had been taken from his throne and imprisoned. His young son, the prince, was taken by those who dethroned the king. They thought that inasmuch as the king’s son was heir to the throne, if they could destroy him morally, he would never realize the great and grand destiny that life had bestowed upon him.

They took him to a community far away, and there they exposed the lad to every filthy and vile thing that life could offer. They exposed him to foods the richness of which would quickly make him a slave to appetite. They used vile language around him constantly. They exposed him to lewd and lusting women. They exposed him to dishonor and distrust. He was surrounded 24 hours a day by everything that could drag the soul of a man as low as one could slip. For over six months he had this treatment—but not once did the young lad buckle under pressure. Finally, after intensive temptation, they questioned him. Why had he not submitted himself to these things—why had he not partaken? These things would provide pleasure, satisfy his lusts, and were desirable; they were all his. The boy said, “I cannot do what you ask for I was born to be a king.”

...Would that our Father, our Heavenly King, could say this about his children—that we remembered all of his commandments to execute them. What would our Heavenly King have us do as his children? We should be faithful in filling every assignment. We ought to be virtuous and pure and trustworthy. We ought to stand steadfast in our callings, filling them in the same dedicated and loyal fashion in which Ammon filled his assignments as a servant of the king. We ought to have the integrity of the son of King Louis XVI and have branded onto our hearts “I cannot do what you ask for I was born to be a king.” " Vaughn J Featherstone, New Era, November 1975

"...the great goodness of our God..."

2008-07-31T09:42:00.025-06:00

I have been reading in Alma in the Book of Mormon, chapter 34 (pg. 293) where Amulek, a missionary at that time in the land of the Americas, is testifying of Jesus Christ to a group of people who had been rejected by their brethren because of their poverty. Because of their rejection that brought them to a greater depth of humility, I feel that their hearts were prepared to hear truth in it's purest form. I have read these verses many times, but this time, this verse struck me with power. There is a different verse in the Book of Mormon that talks about the power of the word of God (in preaching) having a greater effect over the hearts of men than ANYTHING else. (Alma 31:5, pg. 285) I testify that is true. I was reminded of that in reading these verses again and the feelings I felt.

So Amulek is teaching them of the plan-of our purpose here-and Jesus Christ's role in it. He teaches them of the importance of the atonement (the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and all it entails), that all of us would perish without it, because we are not perfect and sin every day. (Alma 34:9) Amulek then continues to expound further on this sacrifice, using words such as 'great and last sacrifice', an 'infinite and eternal'-emphasizing the importance and vitality of what Christ did for us.

In reading these verses, I started to contemplate how blessed I am for such a sacrifice given on my behalf. I imagined living life here on earth without being able to be forgiven for when I have fallen short and having to carry those burdens on my own back throughout my time here on earth. It was as though I could physically feel the weight of all my mistakes in my lifetime on my shoulders as I contemplated all this. I then noticed I had marked a scripture reference from this verse to another part of the scriptures in 2 Nephi 9 (pg. 73), also in reference to what Christ has done for us. This particular section contains the words of a man named Jacob who was teaching his people the words of Isaiah and sharing his own feelings on Jesus Christ.

I LOVE what he says in verse 10: "O how great the goodness of our God, who prepareth a way for our escape from the grasp of this awful monster; yea, that monster, death and hell, which I call death of the body, and also the death of the spirit."

Think of the evilest monster you can conjure up in your imagination. Now envsion it is looming over, you about to devour you in your entirety-when along comes someone. Someone who has the strength you lack to fight the monster. He takes that monster and ties him up with the other monsters he's taken captive. You stand there dumbfounded at how your life has just been spared, for everything you can humanly do to show gratitude to this person seems inadequate.

I know this is a feeble attempt to express something I feel so strongly, but I am so grateful for what Jesus Christ has done for me in freeing me from such a monster that could hold me bound and consume me. He DID free me from that and continues to do so. I know that through Him ALL things are possible, for which I am forever in debted to him.

Happy Birthday, Ms. Potter

2008-07-28T23:20:00.011-06:00

I wanted to post something in celebration of today. It is the birthday of the world renouned children's book author, Beatrix Potter. (She would be 143 today. She passed away at 77 years of age.) She is most famous for the Tale of Peter Rabbit, although I have found many of her other stories to be just as endearing.

It is a story I have always loved-even now as an adult I enjoy reading it. Another one of my favorites of hers is is the story of Miss Jemima Puddleduck.
It is this sad tale of a duck who goes in search of a place to lay her eggs only to be fall pray to a very sly wolf with a hearty appetite.

I think I am drawn to this story because it reminds me of our human-ness and how we fall short and fall pray to those 'sly wolves' in our lives, and Ms. Potter managed to capture that in her story-telling. A talent I hope to master in my writing as well, as I attempt to write a children's book in the future.

Anyway-Happy Birthday Ms. Potter.

The promise

2008-07-28T11:28:00.001-06:00

Is it possible to be able to 'see' how the Lord is blessing you so clearly, it's almost dumfounding? I had that experience today in class.

I feel very strongly as part of my observance of the Sabbath day and keeping it holy (Exodus 20:8-11), I don't do any studying for school. I do all that I need to the days before and get up earlier on Monday morning if I need to-to finish up anything that might be missing for the days assignment. I have been able to see how the Lord has helped me in many different ways from observing this, today was especially so. I think it was from keeping the commandments in general, as well leaving my studies to rest as well on Sunday.
So I got to class after a pretty rest-less nights sleep, thinking I would be in class just in body, nothing else. As we were learning the concepts and going over the homework for the weekend, I felt I was being blessed with a quickening of the mind and understanding of the concepts. Another thing I noticed is that one of the girls who is usually the one that is helping all of us understand concepts was really struggling today with alertness and being able to accomplish her work correctly. I felt I really understood all the concepts I needed to for the day and was able to help the girl sitting next to me with some problems. I packed up my things, ready to leave. It didn't all come together until after class how the Lord had blessed me so abundantly for being obedient in every way I could.

I was talking to some of the girls afterwards about getting together for a study group and the subject came up about how some girls were ready to cry (stressed about class), some were feeling overwhelmed and the one girl that is usually the rock we can all depend on could barely keep herself awake.
The thought occured to me afterwards as I listened to how they had been studying on sunday for today and they had worked yesterday-it was very apparent that in a subject I usually struggle with, I was blessed to have the mental capacity to understand the concepts as fast as they were coming at me and even though I hadn't had a very good nights sleep, I felt I was mentally alert-able to do my own work and help others.
Again, I do not say any of this to boast of myself-but only to recognize HOW the Lord can bless us, his children IF we but do our part.
What do you think? Do you agree with what I said, or do you have other opinions on how things transpired?

You never know...

2008-07-27T19:46:00.005-06:00

I just received an interesting e-mail from our Stake Relief Society President who visited our block of meetings today. She recounted in the e-mail that after the block of meetings a young man from our ward had come up to her and thanked her for always dressing modestly. This is what she wrote in her e-mail: I just wanted to let you know that today a boy in 9th ward came up to me after the block and said, "I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate the fact that you dress modestly every single time you visit our ward....and so does the girl that was sitting in front of you in the white dress (I don't know her name) ."

I share this not to boast of myself (anyone who knows me-knows that), rather I share this with you as an example that you never know what example you are giving, whether you realize it or not.
President Spencer W. Kimball said:

“Another of the many things that lead to unchastity is immodesty. Today many young women and young men are smug in their knowledge of the facts of life. They think they know all the answers. They talk about sex as freely as they talk about cars and shows and clothes. And a spirit of immodesty has developed until nothing seems to be sacred.

“One contributing factor to immodesty and a breakdown of moral values is the modern dress. I am sure that the immodest clothes that are worn by some of our young women, and their mothers, contribute directly and indirectly to the immorality of this age. Even fathers sometimes encourage it. I wonder if our young sisters realize the temptation they are flaunting before young men when they leave their bodies partly uncovered. …

“I am positive that the clothes we wear can be a tremendous factor in the gradual breakdown of our love of virtue, our steadfastness in chastity” (Faith Precedes the Miracle [1972], 163, 168).

This whole interaction has made me want to be a better person, for which I am grateful. I feel a stronger desire to stand for what is right and find different ways to stand for modesty and help the brethren.

Something to think about....

Ever mindful

2008-07-27T00:26:00.001-06:00

I just finished a pile of homework I had for the weekend-it was a pile! This next week is the last week of the class (4 more days) and it is down to the wire as we try to cram the rest of the information we need. I have had a crazy busy past few days and haven't been able to dedicate as much time as I would have liked to the homework assigned and was paying the price today. Do you ever have those days were the stark realization of what you need to accomplish in a short time is looming over your head? Today was one of those days. I could have managed my time better-you live and learn... I spend a good chunk of my day today working on a good portion of the assignments and then had to stop for a prior commitment I had with my cousin-knowing that I needed to finish the assignment afterwards since it was due 7:30 Monday morning-and I had decided long ago not to study on Sundays. So about 10 pm I started up again with my homework, thinking FOR SURE I would fall asleep on my books and wake up in the night with math equations smeared across my face in pencil lead. I am proud to say that I just finished the last problem of the homework. I also know that I didn't do it on my own. I know that because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ-the enabling power of the Spirit-I was blessed to be able to finish those probIems. Anyone who knows me, knows how alert I am late at night (I do much better in the early morning hours). I know that I was blessed to be able to finish those problems- I think in part because of my desire to keep the commandments (Doctrine & Covenants 82:10) and because of the Love of my Heavenly Father who is in the very details of my life. (Neal A Maxwell, Encircled in the Arms of His Love, Nov 2002 Liahona)

Knowing good from evil

2008-07-25T11:34:00.022-06:00

I was just reading an article in the church news about the new mission presidents seminar that happened back in June of this year. President Packer spoke to the new mission presidents and their wives and it sounds like it was an amazing meeting. He shared with them a very powerful truism, when you think about it's implications when believed. He said, quoting the prophet Joseph Smith "All beings who have bodies have power over those who have not." (Teaching of Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], 181)

(painting by Carl Bloch, Casting out Satan)

How true that is! Yet how easily we (I) forget that sometimes. Sometimes in the moment of temptation, I feel I am bound by that temptation and must fall to it-forgetting their is power with me more than there is against me. (2 Kings 6:16)

This draws my mind to the experience Joseph (Smith) had when he initially went to the grove to pray and was 'seized upon by some power which entirely overcame me'. (Joseph Smith-History 1:15) He used the description of 'thick darkness' to explain how he felt when being surrounded by this evil. Then he did something that teaches us what we should do when faced with temptation, in its many forms, CALL ON GOD. "Exerting all my powers to call upon God to deliver me out of the power of this enemy which seized upon me." (JS-H 1:16) 'All beings who have bodies have power over those who have not.' We have the power of God on our side to deliver us from evil. We can learn a great many lessons from this experience of Joseph Smith and all that transpired following this event, that he saw God the Father and His son Jesus Christ. He could have let the power of temptation swallow him whole, but he didn't. He called upon God, and from that experience the entire world has been blessed with a deeper understanding of the plain and precious truths.

We have come to better understand plain and precious truths, such that God knows us each individually and that He hears and answers our prayers. With Him, we can be delivered from the powers of darkness and temptation-however great they may seem and however ugly they may seem.

Going back to President Packer's counsel to the new mission presidents, he continued: "The adversary only has power over those that permit him to." He continued, "There are things that are ensnared within our lives and it seems so hopeless, but remember: "Men are instructed sufficiently that they know good from evil." 2 Nephi 2:5

Words of the Prophets

2008-07-24T15:06:00.012-06:00

I have several entries I have started and have not posted as of yet because I have been lacking the desire to finish those thoughts currently. I wanted to post something today, though, however brief it may be. I was just reading a talk given by President Ezra Taft Benson that he gave back in 1981 on womanhood (The Honored Place of Woman, Ensign, Nov. 1981). I was given the reference last night from institute class. We were actually talking about the words of the Prophets and how the counsel they give is more for us than it is for them. Our instructor used the example of Naaman (2 Kings 5) being cleansed of leprosy and the spiritual struggle he had to pass through in the process as an example of how the counsel given is more for each of us individually than for the one giving the counsel.

This talk had some great words on the sanctity of the role of women in this world and how the world relentlessly tries to tear it all down. Here are a few quotes from this talk from President Benson and a quote from an anonymous sister on the power of the goodness of women for good in this world.

"No accomplishment transcends the building of the character of a son or a daughter of God."

"Sound principles and eternal truths need to be frequently repeated so that we do not forget their application nor become dissuaded by other arguments."

(Quote from anonymous sister) “The great strength of a good woman—a Saint, if you will—is her personal testimony of the Savior and her faith in his spokesmen, the prophet and the Apostles of Jesus Christ. If she follows them, she will have the countenance of Christ for her beauty, the peace of Christ to support her emotionally, the Savior’s example as a means to solve her problems and to strengthen her, and the love of Christ as the source of love for herself, her family, and those about her. She can be sure of herself as a wife and mother and find joy and fulfillment in her role in the home.”

I know that we are lead by men called of God in our day, to help strengthen our relationship with Jesus Christ and to help us overcome the natural man. If we abide by the counsel given them, the very gates of hell shall not prevail against us. (Doctrine and Covenants 21:4-6)

Exam #2

2008-07-17T22:09:00.022-06:00

It has been a good day today. I went to class as usual and had a nice surprise. We took our 2nd exam on Tuesday (12 pages this time)and we got our scores back today. I felt pretty good about how I did when I took the test, minus the fact that I couldn't remember a theorem to figure out a set of problems on the exam. I received an 82%, which may not call for celebration for most, but for me: that is AMAZING!!! Taking this class by itself this summer has been the best decision. I don't say all of this to toot my own horn, because I know what I am capable when I attempt it on my own. I have years of examples to chew on with that. Throughout the year here at BSU, I have come to better understand how the Spirit can teach us-each of us individually-to better understand ALL truth.

Small and Simple 2

2008-07-11T15:02:00.035-06:00

I went on a little bike ride today. I took a route I haven't taken in awhile: it is one that is a steady incline all the way out and a ride back down on the way back. I stopped at about 5 miles out from home, and, feeling good about hitting my goal, I turned around to head back home. As I turned around to what I thought would be a smooth coast down for awhile-I was slapped in the face by a fierce headwind. I suddenly became aware of how I had been blessed with help in carrying out the first part of my journey. I thought I had climbed up that far just on my own merit-but in that moment I turned, I realized I didn't do it on my own. Now this part of the ride that I normally coast was not a challenge I wasn't prepared for. The wind was so strong that I nearly came to a complete stop as I attempted to coast down.

I was thinking about this experience as I was riding back home and I came to an understanding of what this journey on my bike was symbolic of. The entire journey was representational of my journey here in mortality with it's different challenges. The point when I turned to head back home is likened to my move here to Boise. It was a challenge I wasn't expecting in my journeyings and when I thought the road would be a comfort ride (coast) for a season, it has been one of the most challenging times in my life: it has been character building. I have become aware of how the Lord has helped me and 'carried me' up to that point in my journey, just as I was helped with a tailwind on the first portion of my bike ride. The most important aspect of my bike ride today: I made it home safely, just as I know I will make it through this challenging time with it's headwinds. All the opposition will only make me stronger. :)

I don't love the pain of affliction, but I do love the growth that occurs and the knowledge that Heavenly Father is mindful of me and has tailor-made this journey just for me. Some of you may feel I think to much about things :), which is probably true. I just feel that it is by these small and seemingly simple ways that the Lord tries to teach us the lessons we need and if we are not careful, we might miss them.

Lesson learned

2008-07-10T23:44:00.020-06:00

I just got home from about THE worst movie I have seen in a long time. I am usually pretty good about judging movies and there content-but tonight I failed miserably.

My roomates and I went to see a movie at the dollar theatre and I just about got up and walked out it was so offensive. I am actually disgusted with myself that I didn't, as it was REALLY bad. I had my eyes closed and ears plugged through several scenes. It was 'MADE OF HONOR'. I DON'T recommend it to anyone. It had the potential of a really cute story, to bad they had to ruin it the way they did. It is a PG-13 and I think it should have been rated R: really crude humor.

I am really picky about what I watch and I hadn't remembered reading anything about it being terribly offensive, so I thought it would be a good pick for a night out with the girls. I usually don't go see PG-13's and now I remember why, especially with how the standards have been lowered in the rating system here in the U.S and in societies all over the world. I have been awakened to these realities and have been reminded I have to be more careful. This may all sound a bit dramatic, but I feel physically ill from the experience and don't want it to happen again. Some of you may have seen this movie, and may have thought there is nothing wrong with it. I just think about how desensitized we have become from our exposure through the media to all that is vile and offensive to God and how we don't even realize how numb we have become. No amount of entertainment-no matter how much you pay for it-is worth the loss of the Spirit.

There is good entertainment out there, you just have to search for it. Things that will allow you to feel at peace: peace of conscience and mind that are of no offense to God and fill you with hope. This was not one of them.

Clarify

2008-07-06T17:08:00.004-06:00

There has been some confusion between the RLDS church that has been getting a lot of news coverage as of late and the LDS - the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Many believe they are one in the same. I had a conversation awhile back with man about this and was able to clarify the difference. I write this now and attach this link in hopes that it might help clarify it to a vastly more emmense audience. This is a link from the lds website on what the LDS church is doing in Texas in hopes that it might be distinguished with what is happening in the RLDS. (http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/news-releases-stories/church-seeks-to-address-public-confusion-over-texas-polygamy-group)

4th of July weekend

2008-07-05T22:33:00.052-06:00

I just arrived back in Boise after a fantastic weekend with my family. I am not sure where to begin with all that has happened and been felt that I will post tomorrow the events of the weekend. :)

Okay-So, it has now been a week and I am a slacker in posting the weekends events. I was waiting for some pictures to go with it, but that looks like it might be awhile so I will just write about it and post pictures at a later date.

I went home to my parents house for the 4th weekend as all of my siblings were going to be together for the event-ALSO-any opportunity to be with my family I will ALWAYS take it!! :) My brother and his wife and son came up from Las Vegas and my sister has been visiting with her two daughters (in Utah) from Washington: along with my oldest sister and parents who already lives in Utah. The stars had aligned and we were all together!! Except I realized we have no picture of all of us together to prove it! So ironic. Anyway, the festivities began on Thursday July 3rd as my brother arrived from Vegas that evening and we met up at my parents house. My parents and sister from Washington and a conglomeration of neices and nephews from both sisters were there. We sat in the backyard and enjoyed the cool evening for awhile before we headed to bed for an early morning of activities. We started with a parade in Orem that morning-we all kind of met up on the parade route from our various destinations: Hank was already there shooting photos for work; Layne, Jayme and Payce and I came from West Jordan and my parents, sisters and the rest of the neices and nephews and Shauna came from Orem were they had met up to ride together.

We had quite the army that morning! We sat on the parade route also with Hank's mother and some of his siblings. We also sat near some family friends, the Dever's. Kiersten showed up a little while later as well. It was great to all be together. There is something you feel differently for your family than you do for anyone else. I don't know how to explain it: there is a mixture of excitement and love that sometimes leaves me speechless. (If that makes any sense?)

Lori (my sister that lives in Utah) and there family had brought food for breakfast to eat while we watched the parade. We saw some friends in the parade. It was a nice morning, except for a small scare that was my fault. Due to a ginormous huckleberry tree where we were sitting, I had managed to get them all over my pants: including my hind parts. My brother was letting me know I had stains there and I was joking that he should take a picture of it for me so I could see. Needless to say-waste of time. When he finished taking the picture, we couldn't find Layne and Jayme's little boy Payce ANYWHERE. My heart started racing and my stomach felt like I had just ingested a chunk of lead. My brother and I locked eyes and we both shook our heads in disbelief. We immediately headed off in opposite directions on the parade route and asked others in our family if they had seen him. We were on the search for him. I immediately said a prayer in my heart and pleaded that we would be guided to find him. I asked a few people as I headed down the parade route if they had seen him: nothing. Jayme had also headed of in the same direction of my brother, but she had found nothing. Unbeknowns to us, a couple of our neices had headed off farther down the route in the direction I had and had found him wandering down the sidewalk with his bagel. I cannot explain the relief I felt when I saw them carrying him-still calmly eating his bagel. My brother mentioned later he thought he was going to pass out when he started looking for him and couldn't find him. We didn't let him out of our sight the rest of the time we were there. (here is a picture of the unhappy Payce afterwards that had to be strapped in his stroller.)

Something else I remember from the parade was that one of the floats was throwing out t-shirts and my niece Jalani caught one. It was a float for the newly accredited university, Utah Valley University, and they were giving away t-shirts with their new logos. Shauna, a friend of the family who was there, is a currently a student there and Lani knew this and gave her the t-shirt she had caught. I thought that was very sweet of her to do so. She could have very easily kept it. I appreciated Lani's example of sacrifice. I'm sure everyone who was there could tell a whole slue of stories from their perspectives of what they witnessed that day. Those are just a few of the things that stood out to me that day.

We then headed back to Lori's house to relax a bit and have a bbq. We all kind of fat-dogged it (a term we use in our family when you are lounging around, usually after a big meal. usually involves napping as well. :) In case you were wondering...) for a few hours before we started BBQ-ing. We were having hamburgers and hot dogs. My mom (THE BEST EVER) even went to the store and got me some veggie burgers which I LOVE!!! That was so sweet of her to cut into her own rest time to do that. That meant alot. After we ate and rested some more, we headed back to West Jordan to all take official naps to be well-rested for the evenings events of fireworks.

We ended up meeting in Lehi-which is a town between Orem and West Jordan-to watch the fireworks. They were having a show at Thanksgiving Point, which is a venue right there in Lehi. We went up on to the Cabella's parking lot that is located up an a hillside opposite the freeway from Thanksgiving Point to watch them. It was a great spot I never would have thought of!! There were several other families that were there as well watching. The McIntire's had it all set up when we arrived: they had pulled out a bench from there van to sit on, had layed out blankets and had brought munchies to eat while watching the show.

I have the best family EVER!! They think of everything! My nephew, Payce and I went around and were watching the pre-shows as different families were setting off their fireworks.

(He calls them FIRE-BONKS. He's hilarious!!) It was neat to spend that time with him and share those experiences.

The next morning, we had planned to meet at Liberty Park to play in the water there and ride the carnival rides there. They have this interesting little repleca that is a small scale of the rivers and lakes that are in the Salt Lake Valley, all made out of cement. Only a portion of the rivers and lakes had water in them , so we played in what was there.

We then had lunch and the kids rode a few rides. My parents were leaving to go to take care of their calling as Stake Baptismal Coordinators and so I decided that was a good time to head out to as I still had to drive back to Boise that night. I was anxious to leave since I had to drive by myself and I am not a big fan of driving in the dark. As I was leaving, my niece Kiersten asked me to go with her to see her new place not to far from the park first before I left, so I went with her. It was nice to catch up with her and hear how she is doing, I don't get to do that much anymore it seems. We then headed back to my parents and saw them before they left for the church. I then took a little nap, had something to eat and headed on my way.

It was really hard to leave my family this time, almost as hard as it was to see my parents go when they helped me move to Boise a year ago. It was so great to spend that time with all of them. I am grateful Heavenly Father kept us all safe in our travels that we could spend that time together. I love my family more than I will ever be able to express with words. They mean everything to me and I am forever endebted to my Father in Heaven for blessing me so.

This life is a test, it is only a test

2008-07-01T21:48:00.028-06:00

I found myself in an interesting position today. I had gone to the ELL Center for Refugees downtown this afternoon for a training meeting and had stopped by the store on my way home. As I was walking out of the store, I was approached by a woman. She asked me if I was from here and then proceeded to tell me of her plight. As she was telling me her situation, I had a feeling that she wasn't being honest with me. In the end she was asking me if I had any money. I usually don't carry any cash on me, but today I had a few dollars on me-the change from my recent purchase. As she told me of her situation, I wondered what I should do as I felt she wasn't being honest with me. The instant I thought that, several verses from Mosiah 4 came into my mind, particularly the phrases 'are we not all beggars?' and the part in verse 24 where it talks about if we have we should give. I also felt, regardless if she is being honest or not, she is in need. I gave her what I had in my pocket, which wasn't much. I felt guilty for even HAVING the thought not to give it to her especially since I didn't have very much to begin with. I haven't been working for this past month, so I felt I needed those dollars just as much as she did. A very selfish thought since everything I have been given is from God and if someone is in need, I should give them all that I can. I know all that thought process may seem silly to some, especially over a few dollars. To me, every life lesson I am given I take seriously and try to learn from it what I need to-regardless how small and insignificant it may seem. I feel like the situation I found myself in today was one of those. This life is a compilation of life tests such as these that test our character. Reminds me of a quote from Sheri L Dew:

"Indeed, this life is a test. It is a test of many things—of our convictions and priorities, our faith and our faithfulness, our patience and our resilience, and in the end, our ultimate desires. Yet there are times when the vision and hope of a Big Finish are dimmed by immediate demands, days when one might wish for a mortal exam that was a little more manageable.
Thankfully, our experience here is an open-book test. We know why we’re here, and we have from prophets ancient and modern an extensive set of instructions. But at the risk of sounding simplistic, may I suggest that the mortal experience is largely about vision—our vision of ourselves and our ultimate Big Finish. And vision is determined by faith. The firmer our faith in Jesus Christ, the clearer our vision of ourselves and what we can ultimately achieve and become." May 1998 BYU Women's Conference

Coming soon...

2008-06-30T22:03:00.005-06:00

I am heading to bed now, but I will write soon of our family adventure this past weekend. :) It was a fantastic weekend I was able to spend with my parents, sister and eight of my nieces and nephews. We went to see Les Miserables down at the Tuacahn in St. George, Utah. I will write more details tomorrow....

Sealing Power

2008-06-25T11:41:00.044-06:00

I have been filled with good intentions to post something since this weekend, but time has gotten away from me. I can't believe it's Wednesday already. I had a great weekend filled with time spent with my family!! My sister and my nieces stopped in on their way down to Utah from Washington on Friday and stayed all weekend. She stayed at a friend's house that we knew from Montana. It was fun to spend time with all of them (my sister and the girls and our family friend). Then on Saturday I took my sister and nieces to this candy store that specializes in 'vintage' candies and other such oddities. We found quite the variety of treats and doled them out accordingly. :) It was a priceless experience with my sister as we picked up treat after treat and remembered the memory related it and the person who enjoyed it. I love experiences like that, that can stir in you something deeper than with any of the five senses. This store was one of those places.

After we finished at Powell's, we went and met more family that had come into town. My parents, grandparents and one of my nephews came up for a temple sealing. My cousin, who was married a year ago civily, was sealed in the Boise, Idaho Temple. It was a beautiful experience: one where the Spirit deepens your understanding of truth and gives you back perspective that can sometimes be lost living "in the world". The sealer said something that I hadn't thought about in respects to the difference between a civil marriage and a sealing in the temple. He spoke of the civil marriage my cousin & his wife had received a year ago. He said they were married with a stipulation for divorce. After he spoke those words, I played over in my mind the words spoken when someone is married civily, trying to figure out where it talks about a divorce. He then explained it further: the divorce stipulation is at death; you marry knowing that you will be seperated when one or both of you die. In contrast to the sealing ordinance that can only be performed in the temple by someone who has the proper authority to bind in heaven what is done on earth.

President Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve said "The sealing power represents the transcendent delegation of spiritual authority from God to man. The keeper of that sealing power is the Lord’s chief representative here upon the earth, the President of the Church. That is the position of consummate trust and authority.
As has been said, much of the teaching relating to the deeper spiritual things in the Church, particularly in the temple, is symbolic. We use the word keys in a symbolic way. Here the keys of priesthood authority represent the limits of the power extended from beyond the veil to mortal man to act in the name of God upon the earth. The words seal and keys and priesthood are closely linked together.
The keys of the sealing power are synonymous with the keys of the everlasting priesthood. “When Jesus came into the coasts of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, saying, Whom do men say that I the Son of man am? …
“And Simon Peter answered and said, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God.
“And Jesus answered and said unto him, Blessed art thou, Simon Bar-jona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven.
“And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.
“And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven” (Matt. 16:13–19).
Peter was to hold the keys. Peter was to hold the sealing power, that authority which carried the power to bind or seal on earth or to loose on earth and it would be so in the heavens. Those keys belong to the President of the Church—to the prophet, seer, and revelator. That sacred sealing power is with the Church now. Nothing is regarded with more sacred contemplation by those who know the significance of this authority. Nothing is more closely held. There are relatively few men who have been delegated this sealing power upon the earth at any given time—in each temple are brethren who have been given the sealing power. No one can get it except from the prophet, seer, and revelator and President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints." The Holy Temple, Boyd K. Packer, Ensign Feb 1995, 32

I made a decision a long time ago that I would accept nothing less than a temple marriage when I marry, as I know that is the way God intended our families to be. We can be bonded together where 'moth and rust doth not corrupt' (Matthew 6:19, 3 Nephi 13:19). I was reminded of another aspect of those beautiful promises at my cousin's wedding, cementing firmer my foundation of a marriage built on such foundings. I hope we all have that same goal for those who have yet to attain it, and I congradulate those of you who have made that choice. There is no greater blessing in this life.

Spreading the Gospel, that it may go forth to every nation

2008-06-20T16:18:00.007-06:00

I was re-reading the talks that were influential in me starting this blog and I was reminded as to why I began writing here and something I had forgotten. Elder Ballard spoke of the 'new media' and the benefit we as members can be in clarifying error about the church. He spoke of the 'international influence' we can have as well for those who speak more than one language. I am going to start writing some entries including the languages I know. I am fascinated with language and plan to continue to learn more. As I do so, I will continue to add to that list and to my postings. It may be awhile until I am able to post in different languages, but that will give me something to work towards. :)

Perception and math quizzes

2008-06-18T16:51:00.016-06:00

I wanted to share with you all my most recent quiz score from the math class I am taking this summer. It may not seem much of an accomplishment to most, but to me it is a miracle!! :) (I have ALWAYS struggled in math: with anything analytical, really) It is times like these that I am reminded that I am nothing on my own: I have YEARS of proof of this in math. :) I know I have said this numerous times, but it is true that the Spirit can help you understand the truth of ALL things. Truth is always truth no matter how many times you repeat it. :)

What I am trying to say is that I am human and struggle in my weakness, and that with God's help ALL things are possible. We also have been blessed with 'daily life experiences' that help us learn and remember who we depend on and why we are here. I have struggled with math ever since I can remember learning about it. My wonderful parents tried EVERYTHING to help me: sitting down with me, sending me to special math tutoring classes, etc. I always felt that I had to work 10 times more to understand a concept that most in my classes. Which is fine, I just have always been aware of that struggle for me. I made it through math, but I never really felt like I understood it. I have found over recent years, as I have better learned how to understand and recognize the Spirit, how it can help me in ways I never thought possible. This is just an example of how I am able to witness this.

I was reading a talk by President Faust from April 2004 General Conference titled "Did you get the right message?' He talks about the age that we live in and how we are bombarded with different messages and the importance of hearing the 'right one' of the Spirit in all the noise. He shared an experience he had as a young boy in school that made me think of my current experiences with math. He said, "I learned at a young age that inspiration can come to any of us. When I was in junior high school I was taking a difficult class where most of what was being taught went over my head. One day the teacher asked me a question. I didn't understand the question, let alone the answer. Out of nowhere a response came into my mind, which I repeated to the teacher. It was the right answer, but I knew it had not come from me." I have had to work hard in studying that the answers don't just come to me, but I better understand concepts and I know that through the workings of the Spirit I am able to understand concepts I never would on my own, just as President Faust recognizes.

So, let this simple quiz stand as a testimony on its own of what the Lord can do with us and the power of the Holy Ghost that can help us understand all of God's mysteries-even math. :)

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!

2008-06-15T15:22:00.056-06:00

I desire to wish my father and all of you who are fathers here in mortality a happy father's day today. I hope we do not wait until these days set aside for our fathers to let them know how much we love them and appreciate them, but at least one day out of the year we dedicate to them-that they may know. This is in celebration of such a sacred title.

Elder Jeffrey R Holland speaks of the sacredness of the name 'father', he says "Of all the titles He (God) has chosen for Himself, Father is the one He declares, and creation is His watchword-especially human creation, creation in His image. His glory isn't a mountain, as stunning as mountains are. It isn't in sea or sky or snow or sunrise, as beautiful as they all are. It isn't in art or technology, be that a concerto or computer. No, His glory-and His grief-is in His children. We-you and I are His prized posessions, and we are the earthly evidence, however inadequate, of what He truly is."

What an honor it is to be given such a title. No offense to any of you who read this, but I have the best father EVER for me. :) My father is a man who took his responsibility seriously in raising us in righteousness, for which I am grateful. He in word and deed taught me how to find joy in this life. I can remember a time when I was younger (about 7 or so) we were traveling on vacation as a family and we had stopped for lunch. We had stopped at a fast food restaurant and we were ordering our food at the counter. Right behind were you stood to order was a salad bar and my brother and I were anxious to eat and just picked a crouton from the salad bar and popped it in our mouth without even thinking. My dad immediately pulled us aside and told us that was not right what we did. I don't remember all that he said, but I remember him giving me a dime and coming with me up to the counter and telling the worker there that I took a crouton and that I was sorry and here was some money to pay for it. As embarrassed as I was that day in making such an error-in hindsight, not a day goes by that I don't express gratitude to my Heavenly Father for blessing me with such a father. I am forever endebted to my father for being the man that he is and instilling in me this same level of understanding of honesty and every other principle he has taught me.

Those of you who know my parents know that I have the choicest of all parents! :) No offense to your own and their greatness, I know they are tailor made just for you and your needs. I am forever endebted to my parents and what they have given me: for what they have sacrificed and continue to sacrifice on my behalf, for raising me with a knowledge of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ in my life-the greatest gift of all.

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y...NIGHT!

2008-06-14T13:38:00.022-06:00

Okay, it's not night time, but it IS Saturday-it reminded me of the song by the Bay City Rollers by the same name. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rK6BjJaAjY&NR=1 (for your viewing pleasure :) )

With my change in schedule, I am having a hard time distinguishing the days: what I used to do on the weekend I have been able to accomplish during the week with my time freed up as it has been. I used to be able to distinguish what day it was by the tasks I had to accomplish. It's not a bad thing, just an adjustment. :) This week has been a busy week, filled with job interviews and budget reviews, homework and other good things. I have had a few interviews and I feel I found a job that will be perfect for the remainder of my time at BSU. It is part-time, which is where the budget reviews have come in to see what bare minimum I can work for and still survive. :) I found it! It never ceases to amaze me how the Spirit works and how true it is what it says in the scriptures that the Spirit will tell us the truth of ALL things. (2 Nephi 32:5) It is what guided me to make the decision I did about the different jobs I interviewed for. It was so distinct, the feeling I felt in each of the interviews. One felt as if I had run into a brick wall-that there was no progression for me there; with the other I felt as though I could go for miles and miles-I could see a future. I don't know how else to explain the myriad of feelings I felt during the interviews and afterwards in weighing my options. So I went with the one that felt right. I paid attention to how I felt in the interview and how I felt in pondering my options afterwards. I was concerned about the pay offered by the job I accepted and spoke with the owner about it-that it was below what I could survive on. She was very kind and we worked out a deal. All works out as it should. I also have another interview on Monday for a job teaching Spanish in a couple of the elementary schools here in the valley a few mornings a week. This opportunity sounds great to me as well and I am excited to learn more about it and see if the two jobs could work with school and everything else in the mix.

I feel I lack the spiritual vision to see very far ahead of me or to fully understand why things happen as they do, but I do know the my Heavenly Father is mindful of me and can see the big picture and will continue to guide me to be where I need to be and do what I need to do IF I trust in Him.

SMALL AND SIMPLE

2008-06-10T19:36:00.017-06:00

Today has been a great day. Nothing necessarily out of the ordinary-just has been filled with small witnesses of my Heavenly Father's love for me. I have learned over the years, and continue to learn the means by which God shows me His love. It is usually through the small and simple means of life.

I have started a class for the summer and I was a little nervous at first as it is a math class and I tend to not do well in math. But I must say it has been a delightful two days of math so far. I told my mom that today and she laughed and said she had never heard me use the words math and delightful together in the same sentence. :) But it really has been! It has only been two days but as I have been sitting in class I have felt an overwhelming feeling of peace and windows of understanding have been opened to my view as to why it worked out that I passed the first portion of the math class this last semester and am able to take this class now during the summer with the same professor. I know to some may not seem like much, but to me it speaks volumes.

I also had a job interview today and was able to get my car licensed. I am officially an Idahoan!! Well, in the legal sense anyway. :) It feels good to have been able to accomplish so many goals lately that I haven't had time to even look at. I know that Heavenly Father is mindful of me and will continue to bless me by small and simple means. I don't know what will happen, but I do know in whom I have trusted. He can 'see' what I cannot and I know that whatever is supposed to happen-will.

Sunday Sunday

2008-06-08T20:19:00.008-06:00

Well today was my first sunday back from a week long respite with my family in Utah. It was really nice to spend time with them and some good friends of mine. I was able to visit without any homework looming over my head or work work-my first real break since Christmas. (I will have to try to recap the week at a different time) It was so nice and I feel rejuvenated to start anew. I am taking a course over the summer-the second half of an elementary ed. math course. I took the first half of the course last semester and am fixin' to finish the second half this summer. I am excited that I will be able to take the class all by itself to be able to focus all my time on this one course. I felt that is what I was missing last semester-time. I just needed a few more hours in the week to devote to studying. Now I have it!!

Church meetings today were exceptional: the sacrament talks, the relief society lesson. Sunday school I am not so sure of. :) (I taught it this week) I really struggled with this lesson. It discussed the change to the 'reign of the judges', dealing with all the changes in government from a monarchal reign to a republic, theocratic, democracy of judges. There was a great discussion!! The spirit was there strong, giving understanding and enlightenment. I was very humbled to be a part of it. I was reminded again what the Lord can do with us in our weakest state to help Him in His work. I continue to know what to say to people when they compliment me for the lesson as I want to give the credit to its rightful owner. I know that I am nothing but tinkling brass up there speaking without the Spirit to take it to the hearts of those who are prepared to hear. I am getting better in my ability to acknowledge the power of the Spirit, but I still struggle. :) But I know in whom I have trusted.

Four score and seven years ago...

2008-06-07T21:52:00.002-06:00

Four score and seven years ago....I wrote in my blog. :) I am still alive and will post soon...very soon.....

For your viewing pleasure, here is a picture of the Boise River Diversion Dam. I rode my bike out to it today. It was a beautiful ride. 16 miles of Cat Stevens, U2, Shawn Colvin, Dar Williams, and the Wailin' Jenny's. There was plenty more road from there on out, so I am excited to explore it. I think I finally found my place!!! I used to ride up Provo Canyon and have missed that. I have found my Provo Canyon.

If a child

2008-05-19T22:33:00.009-06:00

I received a gift today from a coworker-a book of different thoughts and quotes. It is really nice. It had a thought in it that I reminds me why I teach, that I might be that lifting, building force in a child's life.

If a child
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive.
If a child lives with jealousy, he learns to hate.
If a child lives with self-pity, he learns to be sorry for himself.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns self-confidence and integrity.
If a child lives with praise, he learns to be appreciative.
If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with honesty, he learns what truth is.
If a child lives with friendliness,
he learns that the world is a good place in which to live.
-Anonymous

I heard something similar to this years ago and this reminded me of it. The power you have in how a child grows up-you can build them up or tear him down-all in how we treat them. May we build and not destroy these little lives that Heavenly Father has intrusted us with. I have no children of my own, but I have been blessed with many around me as a teacher, as an aunt, as a friend. I am grateful for such a blessing and for the love I feel for each of them. I know it is a gift from God.

In the strength of the Lord

2008-05-17T11:15:00.024-06:00

I am alive!! :) Finals week is over and I am very grateful for that. We all managed to survive finals week here, although I felt I was 'almost dead'. I have been fighting some kind of sickness during this time and haven't been able to really rest and recover BECAUSE of my schedule-so I thought I was going to die. :) In my exhaustion-as maybe some of you might experience-emotions are heightened and EVERYTHING seems insurmountable. I felt that this week. I know satan was aware of that and knew the importance of my final tuesday and tried to play into my exhaustion. But, something I know to be true, satan can have NO power over us IF we don't give it to him. We must not give him any stage time-shut him RIGHT OUT. Another truth I know is that before something good happens, we can sometimes feel an increase in adversity beforehand. Again, because satan is aware of the importance of that event-whatever it may be. He is very aware of those events and people who will be 'disturber's and annoyer's' in his kingdom. He is good at throwing tantrums. :)

So I took my math final on tuesday and received the results on thursday. I passed!! I did better on my final than on any of my other exams. I was afraid to really be excited about it at first sight of the grade as I thought it might be a mistake and maybe I still need to retake the course. (awful attitude, I know) I think I had been praying so hard and thought I had surely not been as prepared for the exam as I would have liked to have been that Heavenly Father can only do so much with such preparation. But, once again, He has taken my meager offerings and has made them far greater than I could EVER do on my own; far greater than I feel I deserve. I can now move on to the second portion of the course that I need to work toward graduation.

This semester has been challenging for me for several reasons, all of which I better understand the promise the Lord makes to us that '...I will make weak things become strong unto them.' If we go to the Lord in our weakness, He will strengthen our weakness to be what it needs to be. How blessed we are to have this knowledge and be able to call on our Heavenly Father for this help, to be strengthened.

the sun will go on rising and setting whether I fail Math 157 or not...

2008-05-13T22:41:00.006-06:00

"...as Mrs. Lynde would say, the sun will go on rising and setting whether I fail in geometry or not. That is true but not especially comforting. I think I'd rather it didn't go on if I failed!"

A quote from one of my all-time favorite books and it has been ringing in my ears since I finished taking my math final this evening. I finished at around 8 pm and my head is reeling!! I just regurgitated a semesters worth of information onto 9 sheets of paper. It was exhausting!! I am not sure how I did as I tend to do horribly on exams like these, especially in math. I DO know however, that the Spirit was with me and helped me to recall those areas I had studied well. The Spirit cannot bring to our rememberance information that we have not taken the time to study and learn in the first place. I am so grateful for such a precious gift that continues to bless my life as I live worthy of it.
The sun still set this evening and I am pretty confident it will be up in the morning to greet me regardless of how I did today. I am anxious to see what the future holds.

Finals week

2008-05-13T14:51:00.008-06:00

Well, it is Tuesday: first final is today at 6 pm. This final is the one I am most nervous about as alot is depending on the grade I get. The outcome of this exam determines my future: if I do well, I don't have to take this course over again this summer. Then I could focus my efforts on preparing for the first round of exams (PRAXIS) I need to take to go up to the next level in my classes. I am trying to supress my anxiety, but it is not working very well. Although I am nervous, I also feel strongly that all will work out as it should-that Heavenly Father is mindful of me and I have been praying that I will be at peace so I can hear the promptings of the Spirit to recall the information I need for the exam. I will sign off for now. I will post my grades as soon as I know them.

Creeping up on finals week

2008-05-09T21:57:00.014-06:00

I am failing this week miserably at posting. :) I have been feeling poorly and have continued to sleep any extra time I have had. I am on my way to bed now after taking a variety of vitamins, emergen-c and aspirin hoping I feel refreshed in the morning for a 3 hour study session for my math final. My professor is offering an open class for tomorrow and we can come and study and use the manipulatives and ask any questions we might have for him concerning any part of our final. We had a 2 hour study session for class time on thursday this week that was very helpful. I am excited to get another 3 in preparation for our tuesday exam. I know that if I am supposed to pass the exam, I will. I have done everything in my power to prepare for it and with my busy schedule to study each week. All will work out as it should.

2008-05-06T20:49:00.015-06:00

Well, it has been a few FOUR days since I last posted something. I have been out of commission with a mild illness that has caused me to sleep any extra moment I have. :) Which is why I haven't written the past few days. But now, I am back!! I have just returned home from school and am now planning out my schedule on how to survive this next week and a half until finals are over. Not only do I have a busy schedule with finals but I am also busy with work as I am required to do a home visit as is customary at the end of the year. We were supposed to start them yesterday but I have yet to even get all of mine scheduled. All will work itself out as my load lightens, so I am not too worried. I'm not sure how it will-but I know it will. Not much to say today, just that I am worn from the events of the day. I will post more again tomorrow.

Saturday May 3, 2008

2008-05-04T15:43:00.023-06:00

Yesterday (saturday) was a busy day, hence I am writing today instead. :) I got up early and worked on my sunday school lesson for today. Afterwards I went to a cycling class at the rec center: it was another endurance ride. It was a good ride, although I wasn't feeling very good. It was still a good workout even though I didn't have as much strength as I usually do: the veggie salad. It has a homeade tortilla on the bottom; then beans and rice, salsa, romaine lettuce, guacamole, and tortilla strips. This became my favorite when I was living in Utah and I worked right by the restaurant there and became my comfort food here. Trina and I both had dinner from there. Afterwards I relaxed for a little bit and then went back to my homework. I did some math homework-finished the worksheet due for tuesday-then sat down to finish the last 30 minutes of the lion, the witch and the wardrobe that was being played on TV. It felt good to accomplish homework and relax for a little bit after such a crazy week. I think next week will be just as crazy in preparation for finals.

Elder Madsen's special visit

2008-05-02T23:04:00.023-06:00

I returned home recently from a special fireside for our stake from Elder John M Madsen of the Seventy. He was called in August of 1992. He is here for a stake conference in a different stake and as a favor to his brother who is in our stake high council, he came and spoke. He focused on many powerful principles that are found in the History of the Prophet Joseph Smith. He started with Joseph Smith History 1:11 to help understand how we receive revelation- 'laboring under extreme difficulties' and reading epistle of James'; comparing the labor to what we face living in this world and Joseph's reading to the importance of reading the scriptures. He also spoke of the importance of pondering what we read in the scriptures (v12), of acting (v13), and communing with God (v15). Elder Madsen said about daily scripture study and it's importance, "In that atmosphere, the Lord will whisper instruction to your mind." He also reminded us of another principle of truth using Joseph's example as he kneeled to pray in the grove to understand truth and was siezed upon by some unseen being. Elder Madsen then said, 'when the adversary attacks, it means great things are about to happen', just as Joseph experience following the darkness-he saw God the Father and His son Jesus Christ. He opened the dispensation of the fullness of times by God's hand following this event. Satan was very aware that Joseph would be an annoyer and disturber of his plans, just as he is aware of us and how we are able to thwart his work. "We are only chosen if we are righteous" as my bishop said last week at ward conference. Satan is very aware of our potential and purpose here and will stop at nothing to keep us from accomplishing our work here: the Lord's work.

It was a wonderful meeting full of truth and the whisperings of the Spirit. I am grateful I was able to attend.

a day late

2008-05-01T23:08:00.026-06:00

So, maybe I fell asleep last night typing on my laptop. I guess that's what I get for trying to type laying down in my bed. :) So, I lost the entry I had started. Yesterday was a busy day: I was at work from 7:30 am -7:30 pm. I taught my regular class during the morning then we finished the preparations for our art show that evening. We finished hanging the art and getting everything ready. The art show to the public started at 4 and the gathering with the family was from 5:30-7 pm which included the art show, dinner and a craft with the children. We had a great turnout of people-lots of families came that we haven't seen for awhile at an event. It was great-a long day, but great.

Afterwards I headed home and my roomate and I stopped by a birthday party for a friend of ours at our church. We met at a local burger joint called 'Big Juds'. This particular place is famous for their 1 lb burgers served with real idaho potatoes in the form of french fries or tater tots that, if you can eat it within the alotted time, you are made an official member of the big jud's club. This hamburger is INSANELY large!! The bun looks like the size of a small birthday cake, sliced in two. About 5 of the 15 people there took part in the challenge, including the birthday boy. It was crazy to watch. Here is a picture of some people (not sure who they are, found it online) taking the challenge as well.

Can you see the cake size burger? Since last night, I have been contemplating what the fascination is with contests of gorging ourselves to the point of illness-why do we do it? I have yet to figure it out, I don't know if I really want to either. Better left a mystery. :)

As we were there in the restaurant, I met a man that was there having a late supper. (He told me) We were a pretty rambunctious group, so I wondered how he was feeling about us taking over the restaurant. It is a pretty cozy environment. I got up to walk around and see how everyone was faring with the challenge. I passed by his table and just said hi and that I hoped we weren't spoiling his dinner. He then invited me to sit down, so I did and we chatted for a bit. He asked how we all know each other and I told him we all attended the same church and he was happy to hear it. He was an older gentleman, retired officer from the navy. He was very kind. He asked what church we were a part of and I told him the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He said 'oh! The Mormons! yes, I am familiar with your church. He said he has known many people from our church. He asked if we believed in the multiple partners thing, referring all that is going on with the FLDS in Texas. He thought that we were one in the same in beliefs. I assured him that we were in no way affiliated with them and that we don't share that belief. It was nice to be able to clear up that confusion that are shared by many concerning the church as all this is going on with the media coverage in Texas. We had a really nice discussion that was ended as we were leaving. I felt that we had planted a seed of understanding, of correcting error, which is what it is all about. It is what Elder Ballard had hoped would become as well of being a part of this 'new media' that we share through blogs and other forms of communication on the world wide web. I am honored to be a part of it.

a principle with a promise

2008-04-29T21:02:00.014-06:00

The Lord will bless you in your search for obedience. I know this may sound silly, but just hear me out. :) Since this semester has started it has been a struggle in finding parking close to campus. I only live about a couple of miles from the buildings my classes are in on campus, but I didn't feel it was safe to walk all the way home in the dark after class and my bike has been out of commission. So, I opted to park close to the church and walk the rest of the way to campus, which is about a half a mile. I don't have any parking passes this semester nor am I enrolled in an institute class (with my schedule) to get parking at the church or institute lot. I COULD park in those lots illegally and take the chance of getting booted or ticketed, but I don't like dealing like that. I feel there is always a way to be honest in all things. So, I do-and I feel the Lord blesses me every time to find what a spot. (this is where you may think it sounds silly) If you have a desire to do what is right, to be obedient-in this case to the laws of the land-you will be blessed. In this case with the parking, I feel it is on a small scale what the Lord can do for us in great ways. If we have a desire to follow the commandments NO MATTER WHAT, the Lord will bless us-far greater than we could EVER imagine and in ways that we never dreamed of!!
I was thinking about this today as I slid into my parking spot (legal :) ) and silently thanked Heavenly Father for blessing me to find a spot were I could park and keep the laws of the land. Truth is truth no matter what shape it comes in. No matter how small and insignificant it may seem, it is still truth. A principle with a promise.

Sunday April 27, 2008

2008-04-28T06:04:00.044-06:00

I wanted to post a little about yesterday, and I can't believe I didn't do this yesterday. I had lots of down time as I usually do on Sundays, which is VERY nice. We had ward conference yesterday that was fantastic!! I was worried about my state of mind and spirit because I had been up until 2 the night before doing work and school work (so I could keep my personal rule of not studying on sundays). I don't usually like staying up so late on Saturdays so that I am refreshed and alert in my meetings to understand all that I need to through the Spirit. Heavenly Father blessed me tremendously with an outpouring of His Spirit yesterday, a tender mercy for which I am grateful.
Our Bishop and his wife spoke. His wife shared a story about a young man from India, I believe. (whether it was true or not, I am not sure. The message is true, though, regardless) He was investigating the church and asked the missionaries "what do your people do for one another?" And one of the missionaries replied, "We love one another." And that really stuck with the young man. She talked about love being one of the chief characteristics of Diety. She shared a quote from Elder Neal A Maxwell (that I have been trying search for it's origin) about the love of God for us, and 'the same being who placed that star in the heavens....illuminates the landscape of our lives." (there was much more to the quote, but that is all I wrote down, hoping I could find it in it's entirety.)

She then talked about redwood trees and their stature and size. She talked about the size of these trees and how amazingly shallow their root systems are for trees of that size. Yet, their roots are all intertwined, supporting each other and keeping each other strong.
Bishop spoke about the many voices we hear, bombarding us daily for our attention.
"The adversary tries to smother this voice (of the Spirit) with a multitude of loud, persistent, persuasive, and appealing voices: murmuring voices that conjure up perceived injustices, whining voices that abhor challenge and work, seductive voices offering sensual enticements, soothing voices that lull us into carnal security, intellectual voices that profess sophistication and superiority, proud voices that urge us to rely on the arm of the flesh, flattering voices that puff us up with pride, cynical voices that destroy hope, entertaining voices that promote pleasure seeking, commercial voices that tempt us to “spend money for that which is of no worth” and our “labor for that which cannot satisfy” (2 Ne. 9:51), and delirious voices that spawn the desire for a “high.”
I refer not only to a drug- or alcohol-induced high, but to pursuing dangerous, death-defying experiences for nothing more than a thrill. Life, even our own, is so precious that we are accountable to the Lord for it, and we should not trifle with it. (The voice of the Spirit, President Faust, Liahona, September 1995) Bishop also added the voice of doubt to the list. He talked of the 100's of satan's followers that are working on us daily. He said "You are only chosen IF you live righteously." He also said, "It's not easy to be a member of the Church. It's easy to quit."

Then our choir sang Joseph Smith's First Prayer, one of my favorite hymns.

We ended with hearing from our Stake President, President Jenkins. What an amazing man. I have continued to be impressed with him and his devotion to God each time I have had the privilege of hearing him speak-in stake conference recently, at the baptism of Daniel (who left to go back to China), and now. He spoke of his gratitude in being able to have the restored gospel in his life. He said "I carry the message Joseph died for." He challenged us to find out if it is true, and to live to share it with those around us. He asked us if we were happy. If we were, what did we attribute it to? If we were not, then what were we waiting for?! He encouraged us to pray for direction. He then proceeded to talk of how to find joy, which is a step up from happiness. He then listed some vital truths to know and lead us to find this joy.
-Know that God lives and knows who you are
-Know that Jesus Christ lives and the power of Atonement to cleanse AND strengthen us
-Know that Joseph Smith lives-the restoration of the gospel through him

He talked about happiness and success not coming through worldly means, but through the spiritual. Something that made me chuckle, but very appropriate for the congregation receiving it was about dating and happiness. He said "How many dates we have does not mean success. Our obedience is the measure of our success." (There is great power in obedience, that can and will bring us the greatest joys) "Happiness comes from LIVING the gospel."

It was a great meeting, filled with the Spirit that gave understanding as only the Spirit can do, of the things of God. We are SO blessed to have the restored gospel here on the earth. We have been given all the means necessary to find true joy and happiness in this life if we seek it.

Never TOO late

2008-04-26T15:00:00.013-06:00

I was listening to talks from this last conference as part of my spiritual preparation for today and I listened again to Elder Rasband, Sister Lant, Elder Johnson and Elder Joseph B Wirthlin's words. I am so grateful for modern technology, that I can sit here in my home and review the words of these men and women called of God-that I might better understand my purpose here and draw closer to my Heavenly Father. I am so grateful to have ALL of the gospel of Jesus Christ, restored to it's fullest. These truths bring me such comfort and peace. Some words of Elder Wirthlin touched me and helped me remember how good my Father in Heaven has been to me; how merciful He is. I have grown up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints-my parents raised me with the truths of the Gospel as guidelines in my life, in making decisions. I experienced what I feel everyone does at some point in their life, whenever they find the gospel: they have to ifnd out for themselves. It may be that they grew up, saturated in gospel truths; or they found the gospel later in life through trusted friends or family. Whatever the case may be-we come to know that these things are true for ourselves. We have to in order to continue to grow in understanding. I feel as though, even though I grew up with these truths, that I was slow to take heed to them and let them become an integral part of my life. Elder Wirthlin said something that brings me great comfort.

“Remember, sometimes those who start out the slowest end up going the farthest.” Elder Joseph B Wirthlin, General Conference, April 2008, Saturday Morning Session

Hearing this reminded me of an account I heard years ago when I was struggling with feelings of regret in the tardiness of my true devotion to God. I heard an account of Joseph F Smith's, from when he was serving a mission in Hawaii.

He recorded: "I was very much oppressed [when I was] on a mission. I was almost naked and entirely friendless, except [for] the friendship of a poor, benighted … people. I felt as if I was so debased in my condition of poverty, lack of intelligence and knowledge, just a boy, that I hardly dared look a … man in the face. “While in that condition I dreamed [one night] that I was on a journey, and I was impressed that I ought to hurry—hurry with all my might, for fear I might be too late. I rushed on my way as fast as I possibly could, and I was only conscious of having just a little bundle, a handkerchief with a small bundle wrapped in it. I did not realize … what it was, when I was hurrying as fast as I could; but finally I came to a wonderful mansion. … I thought I knew that was my destination. As I passed towards it, as fast as I could, I saw a notice [which read B-A-T-H], ‘Bath.’ I turned aside quickly and went into the bath and washed myself clean. I opened up this little bundle that I had, and there was [some] white, clean [clothing], a thing I had not seen for a long time, because the people I was with did not think very much of making things exceedingly clean. But my [clothing was] clean, and I put [it] on. Then I rushed to what appeared to be a great opening, or door. I knocked and the door opened, and the man who stood there was the Prophet Joseph Smith. He looked at me a little reprovingly, and the first words he said: ‘Joseph, you are late.’ Yet I took confidence and [replied]: “ ‘Yes, but I am clean—I am clean!’ " I cannot express in words the peace and comfort these words bring me, can bring to those who feel they struggle to stay on the path. It is NEVER too late.

Friday

2008-04-25T23:37:00.020-06:00

Well, it is 11:30 pm and here I sit. I am swimming in paperwork from work as we had a deadline today that I don't feel ready for. I am trying to organize everything so it will be ready for monday. We have a series of checkpoints throughout the year that we have to have anectdotal notes for each child (about 8-10 each) for each area of development we focus on; and the final cut-off date is today. No more for until the end of the year are REQUIRED, but they would still like for us to do them. This is an area I have been lacking, it is difficult to be there interacting with the children AND to be able to write notes on each of the children, in each of the areas needed.

It is my roomate's birthday today and I made her cake for her. It was fun to do. She loves frogs, so I made one that suit her fancy. She loved it.

We went out to dinner for Trina's (my roomate's) birthday. We went to this restaurant 'Andrades' as she was in the mood for Mexican food. It was really good. I have seen this place as I drive to work each day and have wondered about the food. It was very authentic. I had Chicken Mole that tasted just like I had eaten on my mission. I kept sharing stories from my mission, I think the girls were tired of it by the end of the meal. We practiced our spanish with our waiter and the owner of the restaurant came and spoke with us. They were both very nice.

We came home and sang happy birthday and lit 25 candles. AFter Trina blew out her candles, we had to open some windows as we feared our super safe smoke alarm would sound if we didn't from all the smoke from the candles. :)

It was a good day and am fighting to keep my eyes open any longer. It is now 12:30 a.m. and I am on my way to bed. Tomorrow is a busy day and will need all the strength I can muster to accomplish everything.

just breathe

2008-04-24T22:18:00.014-06:00

I am lying in bed under the covers with my computer in hand, getting ready to fade into a deep sleep. I love modern technology that I can be laying in bed with my computer. Good thing computers aren't flammable. (insert laugh here)

I wanted to write at least a short note, even though my eyes feel like they are aflame and are starting to water from exhaustion. They have been open a long time today. Today was a good day: in preschool we had our field trip to 'Planet Kid', which was a huge large motor activities place for kids. It was fun. There were tunnels, slides and rope bridges, ball pits, a zip line-lots of padding for everyone. The kids had fun. I put there love to the test today by saying that we needed to get our shoes on and head back to school. All with their heads down, they filed out the door to the bus. I'll post a few pictures here once we download them.

I came home right after work and started in on my homework for class tonight. I didn't get as much accomplished lastnight I would have liked, so I wanted to get some things done today. I read a few articles and wrote a few outlines for class, did some journal entries and worked on a few math problems. It was a most productive day. We have 3 exams in my sociology class and we just barely turned in our 2nd and our hitting the ground running with our third as it is due in about 3 weeks at the end of the semester. AAAAAAAAHH!!!!!! I am excited for it to be over, but I don't feel ready for it AT ALL. It is also crazy at work as we have to do one last home visit for the end of the year and I am just trying to figure out where in the world I am going to find the time to do that on top of finals and my regular class time.

I know it will all work out, even though in my limited understanding I am not sure how. :) I know the Lord is mindful of me and will help me find a way to do what is important that I accomplish.

Well, my eyes cannot stay open much longer, so I will sign off for now. Buenas Noches.

Time Flies

2008-04-23T15:07:00.034-06:00

Wow! It is Wednesday and I haven't written a THING!! I attempted a few days in a row, but wasn't able to write all I wanted to in the time I had. So, I will briefly re-cap my weekend and what has happened until now.

So Saturday I went to make 72-hour kits in the student union building with my roomate Katie. We ended up making 13 of them and we looked hilarious as we walked out of the building weighed down with backpacks on our backs, fronts and 3 or so on each arm. One guy saw us and just stared at us with his eyes wide open. I was waiting for his jaw to drop.

I then went to meet my friend Julie who was in town from Pullman, WA where she is going to grad school. We went to the open market (similar to a farmer's market) here in Boise, stopped and got something to eat at a local cafe then headed home. I needed to write a paper and Julie wasn't going to meet another friend of hers that lives here until later, so she came back with me to do homework until her she met up with her friend. We ended up talking alot and didn't get much of my paper accomplished. :)

Sunday I had a great day at church and received direction in my life and was reminded how much my Heavenly Father loves me. It was my turn to teach sunday school and I feel like I was able to share what I felt directed to teach. I am always humbled at the opportunity to be able to be an instrument: to let the Spirit work through me to know what the Lord's will is for that situation. I find it challenging to know what to say when people thank me for the lesson, as I don't want to boast of my own ability, as I know that I am nothing on my own and every word I was directed to say was a gift and expression of the love Heavenly Father has for them. So, I say thank you and try to comment how blessed we are to have the Holy Ghost to guide us and help us understand ALL things. (what they felt was the Spirit that helped them to understand what they did-not me) I haven't quite figured out what the best response is that adequately recognizes who is responsible for what they feel, but I am working on it. :)

After church, I read Elder Eyring't talk from the Young Women's broadcast and took a nap. I talked to my brother and called a friend for his birthday. I also had my first cello lesson!! Another roomate is an accomplished cellist and she taught me how to play 'Twinkle twinkle little star' on her cello. I was in heaven-I had the opportunity to play my favorite instrument. It makes me want to take lessons, although cellos are super expensive. (I found out you can rent them as well.) I had big plans to go to bed early so I could get up early Monday and study for school in the morning (since I don't study on sundays), but I ended up talking to my friend later and ended up in bed later. I still was able to get up early and do a little studying and work on my lesson plans for work, so that was good. It was a productive morning.

Monday after work I had big plans to sit down and work on my paper (that was due yesterday), finish it up and fine tune it to turn in the next day. I got home and was relaxing a little bit before I started working on my paper. I wasn't going to go to Family Home Evening so I could just focus on my paper, but my newest roomate finally wanted to go, so I went for a little bit and introduced her to the ward. She hasn't been to our ward as she has been at other wards or working. So, it was good. I ended up staying up until 2 am after that trying to finish. I had a few things to fix, so I went to bed so I would get SOME sleep before my alarm went off. I was suprisingly awake until 2, which I know was a blessing from my Heavenly Father since I usually struggle to stay alert until after 10-even though I had pushed it to the last minute. :) I got up (TUESDAY) and went to work, came home and finished up my paper and went off to school to work on some math homework before class. Again, I was suprisingly awake throughout the evening as I attended my classes. I thought it would be my worst nightmare if we turned in our papers and made us sit and watch a video-that I would for sure fall asleep then!! That was EXACTLY what he did! I laughed to myself and thought for sure I would be asleep, but I didn't. I stayed awake and alert. That was a real blessing I know was a power beyond my own.
I worked today and had a fun morning making caterpillars and cocoons for our art show next week, in correlation with our learning about them in our class.

That is what has been going on these past few days. I only wish I would have had the time to write it out each day to give it more than just a run down. We shall see what tomorrow brings. :)

FRIDAY, APRIL 18, 2008

2008-04-19T06:54:00.009-06:00

I can't believe I didn't post yesterday. I arrived home after work and started right up with laundry and other work that it completely left me to stop and post something. Isn't that so how we are as mortals? Not always consistent in our actions? When God is ALWAYS there for us: rain or shine, good times and bad? Yet we struggle in our humanity to ALWAYS remember Him as He does for us. This is part of our quest for perfection: that we become more like our Father; more like our Savior-sluffing off the natural man. I feel far from ever being like either of them days like this were I wish I could just be consistent. :)
I did have a great day yesterday, filled with peaceful direction and accomplishing tasks I needed to accomplish. As I studied it out, I received direction concerning my sunday school lesson for tomorrow. I am learning so much from the example of Enos in the Book of Mormon. I love the powerful words he uses to explain how he came to receive a 'remission of his sins' and how the Spirit can teach us the truth of ALL things, IF we but ask. There is so much to be learned from these verses, so much truth concentrated in this one chapter. http://scriptures.lds.org/en/enos/1 (you can read the chapter right online!)

I broke a nail

2008-04-17T22:10:00.053-06:00

So I was thinking about an injury I acquired a few weeks ago and the life's lessons I gleaned from it. I have had these thoughts in my head all day today, so I pray that the Spirit will be with me to put it to words. A few weeks back I went to put a little extra air in my bike tire, using one of the pumps at a gas station. I was pushing the handle down to pump the air in and somehow managed to bend my thumbnail back somewhere in the middle of my nail bed. It hurt in that moment, but I was so busy putting air in my tire (since it is one where you had a limited time before it ran out) that I didn't even look at it until I got on my back to head back home. By then, it was bleeding pretty good and I could see where the nail had snagged and the crease in my nail all the way across. I had never experienced that before, so I was semi fascinated with it and in shock at what a day it had been (a series of unusual events occured throughout the day, this being one of them that was the icing on the cake). I thought FOR SURE I would lose my nail and I even had nightmares afterwards about this nasty, broken nail with the exposed portion black and encrusted with blood where my nail had been-while it was healing. I was waiting for the day that my nail would fall off and my dream would become reality, I was even afraid to trim the nail (partly because of the pain) where it had snagged (hadn't ripped of any nail) that it would snowball and turn into me trimming my nail down to nothing. So I left it, but a few band-aids on it and went on about my business trying to use my thumb as normally as possible. I realized how much I used my thumb for and how grateful I was for it.

You know I waited for the day that my nail would fall off...but it never did. The sensitivity subsided and I was able to use my nail normally. The nail continued to grow enough that yesterday I was finally able to trim the nail across completely where it was uneven from the snag without having to go deep into the nail bed. I never had to cut it off, and the worst I imagined was far from the reality that happened. I was so grateful. I was grateful that my vision that was limited was not what occured.

So, what does this have to do with anything, you might ask? Well, it reminded me of some pretty profound truths that I will try to share here-as much as the Spirit will allow anyway. I mentioned a few days ago about how I have been feeling lately and how I have felt broken trying to make sense of certain events that have happened over this past year that have really tried my faith. I had kind of been in a grove of growth, if you will, where I felt I knew how to overcome each obstacle that I had in front of me. These that happened over this past year were ones that I wasn't sure how to deal with, that caused me to be in a position that I hadn't been in before. I had been praying for understanding and healing so that it would not be a series of stumbling blocks for me in my life-that I would not become as those recorded of in the book of Alma-who after a very long war and continued affliction had become hard in their hearts-bitter-because of their afflictions and the duration of them.
As I was walking today to school, the Spirit whispered truth to my mind and heart in the reflective time I had without the noise of the world. (How VITAL that time is!! In order to understand the things of God, we NEED it!!) I wasn't consciously looking for symbolism or understanding through what happened with my finger, it just came in the quiet. I won't go into all the details as some I hold sacred and personal, but I will share a few. Just as it was a new thing for me to have my nail broken like that, so was something that happened this last year to me that left me dumbfounded. It broke my heart and left me thinking a lot of things, but mostly left me feeling a little hopeless and not sure how I was going to overcome or how things would work out, I thought FOR SURE that I knew how things would turn out from all of this, imagining the worst. Just as I didn't have to cut off my nail and expose a black blood encrusted mess, I know the worst I imagined is my own lack of vision for my future. I cannot see what God sees, that is why I need Him so desperately: to help me to have ears to hear and eyes to see. God can see the end and knows why I need to experience what I do and when I do. He knows what I need, as He does for each of us, that will cause us to stretch and grow as we never have experienced before-to stretch us to new heights. How grateful I am for such a Father and for this knowledge that brings me hope and peace that surpasses ALL mortal understanding and vision. When we tend to lose perspective, we are yoked to the ONLY source of complete understanding, that can guide us to gain understanding to ALL life's quandaries...AND their joys. Suddenly I see and am beginning to realize WHY I needed to go through what I did and am currently going through. For that I am grateful. I know the healing will continue to come, just as it did with my nail, and I will be more like our Savior-like our Heavenly Father-if I let this trial pass through me.

Missionaries

2008-04-16T22:55:00.017-06:00

We had the missionaries over for dinner tonight. We made sweet and sour chicken with some vegetables over rice. It turned out pretty good, except I should have made more. :) I am not very good at getting portions right, and I should have taken into account that there were 5 guys who would be there who don't eat bird portions. Everyone was very kind and said they were full when all the food ran out, but it was a lesson learned on my part. That's what it's all about, right? You take life's lessons and try to find application in your life and learn so you don't have to go through it again. Even in the simplicity of making a meal these lessons can be learned.

I always love having the missionaries in our home. It has been a month or so since we had them over last, so it was nice to have them there and feel of the spirit so strongly that is with them. They both shared a thought with us and offered a prayer before they left for their next appointment. Turns out our Elders were companions in the MTC (Missionary Training Center) in Provo, Utah and now were companions at this point in their missions. I didn't ask them how long they had been out, it is one of those questions I don't like asking-to be respectful of their position and not try to focus on the time they have left but to focus on the experience itself. Worrying about how much time you have out or left can sometimes distract you from your true purpose, I feel. In hearing that they were companions in the MTC, it caused me to reflect on my experience there and in the mission field we were put together again after a season. It was a very sweet experience as we had both grown tremendously in that time and were allowed a second chance if you will to work in a corner of the Lord's vineyard. It was nice to reflect on that this evening and to be able to spend a little time in the presence of the Lord's servants, hard at work in His vineyard.

A Good Day

2008-04-15T23:12:00.011-06:00

Today has been such a busy day again, I am trying to collect my thoughts to write them down. I had the day off today from work, which is rare occasion. I have 2 personal days and I hadn't used them yet. We were scheduled to have a day of training, and I don't like missing ANY time with my kids, so after talking with my supervisor and she recommended I do it today. So I did. I got up early as usual since I wanted to make best use of my extra time. I worked on my lesson for Sunday, I did homework and I was able to help a friend finish up her taxes since today is the big scary deadline of April 15th!! That was nice to be able to help her. We always say we want to sincerely help people with something that they truly need, even make it a matter of prayer, and today that was answered. This friend has been a great source of consolation and comfort, it was nice to be able to do something small for her in return. (Thanks to all the years of assistance from Hank and his patience in helping me with my taxes-this year I was able to help someone else.) I did some math homework and made waffles. :) It was very nice. I even got a little power nap in today. Today was a really good day, actually. I feel strengthened and I KNOW it is because of the prayers of my family that I feel this extra strength and peace that only God could bestow. I have been focusing my study on Enos this week in preparation for the sunday school lesson and my understanding has deepened of prayer and the powerful words Enos uses in describing his 'wrestle' he had before God, the wrestles we have at times before the Lord as we struggle in our humanity to become more like Him. I know He hears my prayers and those of my family who are watching out for me. I am very grateful to have such a supportive family-I would be nothing without their examples and their support.

Guided by the Spirit

2008-04-13T21:25:00.014-06:00

I just returned home from an amazing fireside that our stake relief society put together for us. It was a beautiful meeting filled with testimonies born of the Spirit. Each of the sisters, under the direction of our Stake President-President Jenkins, didn't have a topic assign-they prayed for the direction of the Spirit to know what they should share. I feel their prayers were answered. As each sister shared, the messages were all about the same things, confirming that the Lord knows us and knew what we needed to hear tonight. I am so grateful for the Gift of the Spirit and that we can commune with our Heavenly Father to receive direct revelation from Him. Heavenly Father KNEW what we would have to face here in mortality and gave us the light and direction of His Spirit to help us along the way.

Although the meeting was a powerful one filled with the Spirit, I felt a little numb. I have felt that way for the past 8 months, with certain events that have happened in my life that I have left me broken and feeling lost-that have even had me doubting what I KNOW to be true. I know it shall pass, but nevertheless it is disturbing to feel still-like I am still not quite myself. Why am I sharing this you might ask? :) Even though I felt numb, I still know God knows me and is mindful of me-even if I can't feel it as strongly as I have been able to in the past. I am in my own personal crucible, being refined into what I need to be. One of the sisters tonight spoke of trying to understand when different trials come into our lives that we are asked to pass through and we may search for understanding as to why. She said, 'Though we may not understand why, we WILL know someday. We may be asked to go through something even more challenging that we will reflect back on and be able to draw from our past experience to help us get through the current.' I look forward to that day and know God will help me find that understanding as to why things are the way they are-and that the atoning blood of Christ will heal this wound and cause it to be a source of strength for me. Of this I am sure, even if I struggle to feel it completely. God knows me, knows what I need and when I need it.

Endure to the end

2008-04-13T00:52:00.006-06:00

Today was filled with the usual Saturday routine of homework and shopping-getting everything ready before Sunday. I had the opportunity for my workout today to go to a cycle class at the rec center on campus. Occassionally they have what they call an 'endurance ride' for the class where the class is an hour and a half, as opposed to the normal hour class-hence the name 'endurance'-only the strong survive. :) So we started out our ride and were having a great workout doing several hills and 'jumping' as our instructor called it, which invovled alot of out of the saddle work. At about the 45 minute mark, we slowed down to a flat road, taking off most of the resistence and preparing for the last half hour or so. At the hour mark, the instructor shouted out, "Let's quit now and go get a Big Mac!" I laughed at his comment, but also the thought came to me as it does often with life experiences of it's deeper significance. I thought of the scripture in 2 Nephi 31 that talks about the baptism of the Savior and the ordinace of baptism and the importance of 'enduring to the end' as it says in verse 20. "...ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life." A vital part of taking the step of being baptized is that it is the gateway to eternal life-but there is SO much more. It would have been so easy to give up today at any point in the ride, as in our own personal journey's of life. At those times is when it is crucial to call on the being who created us for the strength to continue forward. This vital piece of doctrine was brought up this evening at a baptism this evening of the newest member of our ward. One of the members of the high council said "Faith is important, but Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is crucial." Especially to 'endure'. I know Cheryl (the girl who was baptized this evening) has a challenging road ahead of her, but she is not alone. None of us are. We have THE greatest source of power and strength on earth or in the heavens. What more do we need?!

Take Heed

2008-04-12T09:08:00.010-06:00

I can't believe it has been since Monday that I have written, this week has been a blur or business-GOOD things-but busy. :) The Lord has blessed me tremendously this week and I am sorry I didn't take the time to write it all down here. I have been reading in the Book of Mormon lately, starting in the book of Enos-continuing on with Jarom, Omni, and Mormon. In my study of it, I have been saddened that they did not write more-taken the time to chisel out more of their doings. I better understand why they might not have written more than they did (a few short pages each). I don't want my words here OR in my journal to be so brief and empty of all that happened in my life-what I learned from life's experiences.

I just began today to dive into the Priesthood Session of General Conference, I have been waiting all week for the transcripts to be available to read, along with the other words given from all of the sessions of Conference. I was very impressed with Elder Quentin L Cook of the Quorum of the Twelve about heeding the words of the Prophet. He said, "Prophets are inspired to provide us with prophetic priorities to protect us from danger." Elder Cook gave a few examples of this, including one of President David O McKay, former President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Elder Cook said of him

"President David O. McKay was the prophet from 1951 to 1970. One area of
significant focus was his emphasis on the family. He taught that no success in
life can compensate for failure in the home.
He encouraged members to strengthen families by increasing religious observance.
His teachings were a protection from the disintegration of the institution of
marriage that came after his death.
Because of President McKay’s teaching, the Latter-day Saints strengthened their
commitment to family and eternal marriage."
I thought of the Proclamation to the World' that was published in September 1995 on the family-the most sacred institution that has been under attack, and continues to be under attack by the world's standards. Those who studied it and hold fast to it's teachings are strengthened and continue to hold sacred their responsibilites as mother or father in rearing children in righteousness-and by so doing, are protected from the wiles of the adversary. If you 'heed' the counsel of our current Prophet, President Thomas S Monson, counsel that comes directly from our Heavenly Father, pay careful attention to what he says and what you feel-you will know what you need to do to live in the world and not of it. You will know what you need to do to stand steadfast and unmoveable. You will know what you need to do to find peace in a world full of chaos and turmoil. What greater blessing is there??
(below is the link for the sustaining of our church leaders and our newest prophet, 16th President of the Church, President Thomas S. Monson.)
http://broadcast.lds.org/genconf/2008/04/10/GC_2008_04_11_UchtdorfDF__09487_eng_1M.wmv

I will go and do

2008-04-07T23:32:00.016-06:00

Well, another day has flown by and I am not quite sure what happened-it has been a most interesting day to say the least. :) 'Interesting' might lead one to believe that it would increase the difficulty in being able to see how the Lord has blessed me, but it hasn't. It has only spiced it up!! Alot has happened today, but I will share the most recent occurance. I had my car in the shop and was unable to pick it up before the shop closed, so one of the guys at the shop and I worked out a plan how I could pick my car up later this evening. I had him lock the key in the car and I would just use one of the spares I had at home. I had a feeling when I said that, that I shouldn't do it-but I did it, thinking it was the safe thing to do. I arranged for my roomate to take me to the shop after Family Home Evening, with my spare keys in hand ready to go. We got up there and my roomate dropped me off. As she was getting back on the main street from the shop, I was trying my keys. NEITHER of them worked. I kept turning them, flipping them, thinking they just must be upside down or something. I tried every lock possible on the car-even the trunk, thinking if worse comes to worse, I could climb through to the inside of the car. I felt awful-I felt earlier NOT to have him lock it in, but did it anyway-thinking I knew better than Heavenly Father. How foolish I was. One thing I realized is how merciful God is-no matter how many times we mess up and fall short, is there to help us out-help us learn from our mistakes and get where we need to be-in every sense of the word.
So, after trying the keys and being unsuccessful-we went back home and grabbed the other spare I had at the house. I wondered if I had left all the spares in Utah, but I remembered standing at the key rack at my parents house gathering up spares before I made my move here to Boise 8 mnths ago. I also compared the spares I had already tried on the car with the one that I grabbed at the house and they were identical: leading to the impending doom that I had ZERO keys that would help me in this situation. I had been praying and started calling locksmiths in the area to find out what they charged and find out if they would even open my car, seeing as how it was sitting in the parking lot of a auto repair shop in the middle of the night. A bit suspicious to say the least. :) As we were getting ready to venture out again with the doomed key, Trina had a spark of inspiration: she remember a guy in our ward and thought he was a locksmith, but couldn't remember what he did for work. So, she called his roomate and eventually talked to him and found out he was one!! He dropped what he was doing and came to help us, it was so amazing!! I am so grateful Trina was listening to the Spirit to remember that fact. He came and helped us unlock the car (my other two roomates: Katie and Erica, joined us on the adventure back. We all stopped and got something to eat on the way home as part of the adventure. :) ) I was so grateful for his skill and his willingness to go and do what needed to be done. I was reading earlier today in the Church News about President Monson and his experiences in his life, including those of when he had promptings to go and visit someone or go and do something-whatever form the inspiration came.

He said "I don't know what prompts others, but I know what prompts me. When I get a feeling that I need to be somewhere and be doing something, whether it sounds plausible to me or not, I GO. And I find that the thought came because the Lord kenew that He didnt' need to give Brother Monson a lot of advance notice. It makes me feel so good inside to think that I would get the call, or the inspiration, that the Lord knows who I am and that He knows that I will go."

Our friend who came to the rescue may have not felt that prompting to come and help in the form of the still small voice, but he heeded the call when it came-when someone was in need. And for that, I know the Lord is pleased. I am forever grateful for His kindness and willingness to go and do, even when he could have been doing other things.

The ninety and nine

2008-04-06T22:21:00.012-06:00

What an amazing weekend this has been. I feel as Elder D. Todd Christofferson put it today in having difficulty in finding the words to express what I feel, felt in the heart. It said much more eloquently than that, but the message is the same. Wanting to post my thoughts on Conference but feeling overwhelmed that whatever I posted would be inadequate to what I felt, I have been waiting. This is my feeble attempt.

I have felt over the course of conference, as I listened to the different speakers, an overwhelming feeling of honor-honored that my Heavenly Father has given me such a blessing of growing up knowing the truth and to be able to sit at His feet this weekend and hear His word through His servants. I was moved beyond expression to be a part of the solemn assembly Saturday morning: to stand and give my sustaining vote for these men that I KNOW God has called. I had already accepted President Monson as the new Prophet because of my faith the Priesthood and in the order and affairs of the church-how God has organized the church-but I received a greater witness this weekend of President Monson's calling and that he is who the Lord has chosen at this time to guide us. I also, as Elder Holland discussed, witness the mantel come upon him-the change that has come over him as the Lord's mouthpiece on the earth at this time. I was reminded how President Monson does watch out for the one, just as is written in the Bible:

4 What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine
the wilderness, and go after that which
is lost, until he find it?
5 And when he hath found it,
he layeth it on his shoulders,
rejoicing.
6 And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost. (Luke 15:4-6)
http://www.evergreeninternational.org/OlsenLost&Found200.jpg (I didn't have access to get a copy of this print onto the blog, so here is the link)
I had the thought a few times throughout conference of how overwhelmed President Monson must feel at the size of us: as he is such a caring person and focuses on each of us as individuals, how overwhelmed he must feel at all 13, 193, 999 of us-wanting to sit down and visit with us individually.
You know, I just realized something. Even though I didn't sit down with him one on one today: I have felt of his love, overwhelmingly so, as IF I WAS SITTING DOWN WITH HIM FACE TO FACE and I know that he is concerned for my well being. Just as I know my Heavenly Father is.
I will have to write more about my feelings on each of the talks as I re-read them and share their words as I continue to reflect on them daily. I know that this is God's work and I am forever endebted to my Father in Heaven for allowing me to be a part of it.

Hunger and Thirst

2008-04-05T08:59:00.003-06:00

I feel this hunger and thirst to hear the words of the Lord’s servants this weekend with General Conference and I am eagerly awaiting the beginning of it all in an hour. I think of the promises to those who DO hunger and thirst. In a talk by Elder Hales in General Conference of October 2004, he spoke of Faith and referred to Enos in the Book of Mormon and his ‘hunger’ and thirst after that which was good and true-after righteousness. Elder Hales gives the reference in 3 Nephi 12:6 when Christ was here in the Americas “Blessed are all they who do hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled with the Holy Ghost.”
Elder Hales continues in this talk of a pattern, a pattern to find Faith in Jesus Christ as one ‘hungers and thirsts’ after righteousness. He says, “Remember the pattern: (1) hear the word of God, spoken and written by His servants; (2) let that word sink deep into your heart; (3) hunger in your soul for righteousness; (4) obediently follow gospel laws, ordinances, and covenants; and (5) raise your voice in mighty prayer and supplication, asking in faith to know that Jesus Christ is our Savior. I promise that if you do these things sincerely and unceasingly, the words Christ spoke to His disciples will be fulfilled in your life: “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” “ (Matthew 7:7)

I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who has a plan for each of his children. I know that He has called men and women on the earth at this time to be instruments in His hands and help the building of His Kingdom to roll forth. I know President Monson is called of God and I am eager to hear the message that Heavenly Father has impressed him to share with us, as His mouthpiece. How blessed we are to have the COMPLETE and FULLNESS of the Gospel of Jesus Christ on the earth today!!

How Firm a Foundation

2008-04-02T06:41:00.007-06:00

I was just listening to President Henry B. Eyring's words again from the General Young Women's Broadcast this past weekend. What a powerful message, giving through the Holy Ghost by a servant of the Lord. It makes me eager to receive the direction we are blessed to hear this weekend for General Conference. I just wanted to close with a quote from President Eyring here from this powerful address and hopefull a working link to the audio of this meeting. If you have not heard the words spoken, I challenge you to take the time to listen to it. (The link is for the entire meeting, President Eyring was the final speaker)

"Because you are valuable, your trials may be severe. NEVER be
discouraged or be afraid. The way through difficulties has ALWAYS been
prepared for you, and you will find it IF you exercise faith. You must
have faith to pray, you must have faith to ponder the word of God. You
must have faith to do those things and go to those places which invite the
Spirit of Christ and the Holy Ghost."

He concluded with a beautiful promise-I encourage you to listen to the talk in it's entirety. Well worth the sacrifice of whatever it may be. http://broadcast.lds.org/genconf/2008/04/60/GYWM_2008_04_60__CompleteGeneralYoungWomen_10027_eng_.mp3

(they don't have the individual talks available yet, just the conference in it's entirety.)

The hymn that was sung in this meeting right before President Eyring's speech was 'How firm a foundation', number 85. I was very moved by this rendition and the words of the final verse (7) that hardly gets sung in our meetings was sang by this beautiful choir of girls. They continue to ring in my ears as I think about them:

‘The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose
I will not, I cannot,
desert
to thy foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to
shake,
I’ll
never, no never, I’ll never, no never,
I’ll NEVER, NO
NEVER, NO NEVER
FORSAKE!

May we NEVER forget who we are and why we are here, and keep this promise to our Heavenly Father that no matter what comes to shake our foundation-we will NEVER forsake.

"This isn't a math class, it's a lesson on humility"

2008-04-01T23:12:00.015-06:00

Have you ever had one of those moments where you KNOW that the only reason something happened was because of divine intervention? Today I had one of those experiences in Math class. Our professor, prior to spring break, had informed us (FORwarned us :) ) that upon our return we would be having a quiz. This quiz would consist of him giving each of us a specific problem to solve, having a few minutes to look over our notes and discuss it with our partners if we needed the help, then go up in front of the class and present our problem with its solution. I had been feeling a hint of anxiety over it during the break and especially today-it's amazing how many ways you can think to get out of something that you don't want to do. (if you need any help thinking of one, let me know. I think I went through every possible scenario today. :))

Satan was very aware of what this experience would mean to me and for me in my growth. For me, it was one of those experiences: where you have climbed this GREAT mountain and are now at the pinnacle looking out, you are on the brink of something PHENOMINAL-yet something keeps you from taking that next step on your path: fear, pride, whatever it may be. You experience spiritual paralysis, where if you only took that one step in the right direction-I felt like that today with this math quiz. I have a very strong conviction that every experience we have here in mortality, however it is disguised with work, school-whatever-it is all part of our mortal tutorial. Heavenly Father wants to see how we choose, what we choose. I feel like this semester in general is a very 'character building' experience and is causing me to stretch to greater heights, IF I take those opportunities which Heavenly Father blesses me with.

So, I stop the flood of thoughts of how I can escape from math class and go. I had been praying for the past few days that I would be at peace and learn what I needed to learn from this experience. I also prayed for the Spirit to be with me to help me to recall to my mind the information I had studied. Our teacher passed out our questions and immediately upon seeing the question, there came to my mind the notes I had taken (that we were allowed to refer to) from this particular lesson and so I flipped right to them and figured out what I needed to write down. The minute I looked at the problem, I also had the feeling in my heart that this was a direct answer to my prayers-and how the Spirit helped recall the information necessary...I sat there amazed. Amazed at HOW Heavenly Father watches over us in EVERY detail-with so much going on in the world, He takes the time for us individually to let us know He is there and is watching out for us.

I was joking with my group that this wasn't a math class, it was a less on humility. We laughed about it as we prepared our presentations, but I had a reassurance through the Holy Ghost that it was true.

Elder Neal A. Maxwell taught: “We soon discover in the quietude of our
ponderings and our thinkings upon the Lord that he is a tutorial and activist
God. He is not a passive being somewhere in space. He is active in the tutoring
of each of us…. Let us not misread God’s tutoring love. He would not be a loving
Father if He ignored our imperfections. We must not forget that. He would not be
a true Father if he were content with you and me just as we
now are.” (“If Thou Endure Well,” 9, 6, emphasis added.)

2008-03-30T23:13:00.001-06:00

I just returned home from very uplifting meetings of church. I was uplifted and reminded of what really matters and why things are as they are. Let me explain...I met a man today named Daniel. He is from mainland China, from a town right in the very heart of the country. He has come here to work for a few months and has found the gospel in the process-which I feel that was the REAL reason he was brought here as the gospel doors have not YET opened in the more part of that country. I was just discussing with a friend last night about the state of the country there now and how glorious it will be when the doors fly open to the spreading of the gospel to those in the furthermost parts of China and other parts of Asia (also Russia). I know the Lord is preparing my brothers and sisters there now, that the work is rolling forward.

Daniel will be baptized this coming Sunday, April 6-General Conference weekend. He will only be here a short while before he heads to Israel and then back to China. He is right in the center of the country where the church is not officially established, so I worry for him and what he will encounter there so new in the gospel. I pray Heavenly Father will watch over him and help him to remain strong and true to the faith. He is so enthusiastic about the gospel and excited to learn. He was sitting in church on the edge of his seat during sacrament meeting-hanging on every word spoken. He said we speak too fast. J

How I was reminded of why things are the way they are has to do with something that a sister shared in Relief Society today. She bore her testimony and an experience she had rang true to me and shed some light as to why I had been feeling the way I had lately. I know that sounds very vague, but to keep what I hold sacred-sacred-I must be so. It had to do with life experiences and how they help to prepare you to become what you need to become-to have empathy and become more like Heavenly Father. It all helped me to realize why certain things had been happening in my life and that it IS for my good.

It has been a full day that I will write more about at a later date. I am off to bed so I can get SOME sleep before I have to start a crazy full day tomorrow.

Long time...no write

2008-03-28T16:16:00.003-06:00

Well, I have been off visiting family for spring break and have just returned after a week of retreat. I will write a longer message soon, but just to explain where I have been. I have traveled through 4 states in a week-I am glad to be in ONE location now. I am glad NOT to be behind the wheel of a car. :)

Freedom

2008-03-20T22:41:00.011-06:00

Today has been a busy day, the highlight being able to attend the naturalization ceremony of a friend and co-worker. I was honored to be there for my friend and to be able to witness firsthand the ceremony itself as I have never witnessed one before today. We started off in the wrong location and headed out in mad dash to the right courthouse, with my friend a nervous wreck that she would miss it. We had a half hour to get ourselves over the correct location before it started. I realized I don't think I have ever been in a courtroom while it has been in session. The court clerk presented the judge before he entered and the petition was presented to him by the homeland security/immigration division on behalf of the 14 individuals that were present. There were 8 countries represented today by the newest citizens of our country. I will never forget it as we applauded for Teresa as she received her certificate and as all stood for the pledge of allegiance. My love of country was strengthened. I know our country has it's flaws, but it is the land promised us and all the freedoms it affords us: Freedom to believe whatever we desire. Through these freedoms, we can have the fullness of the gospel restored to the earth and rejoice fully in all the blessings our Heavenly Father desires for us. And now, a few more of his children can officially and hopefully more fully partake of these blessings. I'm grateful I was able to witness that today.

Desensitized

2008-03-18T23:51:00.007-06:00

What am I still doing up, you might ask? :) I SHOULD have been in bed hours
ago, but I am just getting to my room-let alone my bed. I wanted to write
a few thoughts I had today: I may only get to one before my eyes close on
me, so here it goes. So, I was sitting in my sociology class today and my
professor was doing his usual power point slide presentation and I was
writing down notes of things he was saying concerning the information shown.
One of these times I was writing down something, I heard my professor say
"Now, this next slide shows full frontal nudity." I continued to write as he
said that and kept my eyes focused on my notes. He said he had received
evaluations from students in the past that commented that he didn't ever
warn students when he was going to show images that were offensive. He
proceeded to say that "If you are offended by this, you need to get out
more." I thought, he just summarized a huge problem in our society today:
becoming desensitized. We are so bombarded with images and music that are
FULL of offensive information that it doesn't even effect us one bit! It
reminds me of an analogy I read again recently quoted by President Faust
shared in April General Conference of 1989:

“Thomas R. Rowan … said: ‘Author and commentator Malcolm Muggeridge once told
a story about some frogs who were killed without resistance by being boiled
alive in [a] cauldron of water. Why didn’t they resist? Because when they
were put in the cauldron, the water was tepid. Then the temperature was
raised ever so slightly, … then a bit warmer still, and on and on and on.
The change was so gradual, almost imperceptible, that the frogs accommodated
themselves to their new environment—until it was too late. The point that
Mr. Muggeridge was making was not about frogs but about us and how we tend
to accept evil as long as it is not a shock that is thrust on us abruptly.
We are inclined to accept something morally wrong if it is only a shade more
wrong than something we are already accepting’ ” (National Press Club
Forum).

The work of the world isn't done by geniuses...

2008-03-16T21:34:00.006-06:00

I heard a very moving speech from President Hinckley today from a friend that I had never heard before. It was a speech he gave in October 2002 at the dedication of the Hinckley Building at the BYU-Idaho campus. On hearing this speech, I was reminded how much I love President Hinckley and how much I take his counsel as a grandfather giving advice, as a Prophet of God giving me direction from my Heavenly Father-and savor it. That is how I felt this evening, hearing the words President Hinckley. I will put a quote or two from this talk in here and hopefully the link to hear the audio of it as well.

"I wish for you nothing but the best. You are so choice and so wonderful
and the future is so great that you can't afford to betray yourselves in
anyway or to do anything less than that which each of you is capable of
accomplishing. You don't have to be a genius. You don't have to be a straight-A
student. You just have to do your very best with all the capability you
have. You have to do your very best. And somehow, if you do that, God will open the way before you and the sun
will shine, and your lives will be fruitful and you will accomplish great good
in the world in which you take a part. I couldn't wish for you anything
better as I look into your faces this day...There is no end in sight for the
good you can do. Do you know it? You are just simple kids. You are not geniuses.
I know that. But the work of the world isn't done by geniuses. It is done by
ordinary people who have learned to work in an extraordinary way people of your
kind who can do these things." -President Gordon B Hinckley

My how time flies

2008-03-11T21:33:00.003-06:00

I can't believe I have not written since last thursday-time flies when you are having fun?..I've learned it flies whatever state you are in-spanning from bliss to the black abyss. :) It continues to move forward, with or without us intact and buckled in for the ride. Life has been challenging, and it has not been so easy to 'see' how the Lord has been in my life, although I KNOW He has. I don't want to sound down and cause for a flood of calls asking about my well-being, I just wanted to state why I haven't posted anything. On a positive note, I feel like the clouds are parting and the Lord continues to be ever mindful of me and has blessed me with an added measure of strength: physically, mentally, spiritually. For this I am forever indebted. How great is our Father who allows us this mortal probation to stretch and grow to our full capacity: and blesses us with all the tools we could EVER need to return back to His presence!! There is a purpose in EVERYTHING that happens IF we but look for it. Ask and ye shall receive, knock and it shall be opened unto you: whatever it may be. To understand the mind and will of God we must learn how He speaks and the Spirit is the ONLY way to reach that understanding. I am so grateful to have this knowledge.

appreciating the sweet

2008-03-06T00:32:00.012-07:00

It is now 12:32 AM and I am just getting to bed. I have been hunched over this computer from 5:30 until 8:30 writing a paper, and since then I have been working on math homework. This week has been a crazy struggle that has all come to a distinct contrast today. I haven't writtne here REALLY since last week because I have really been struggling this week. (that seems to be a usual occurance in my life as of late...) This week has been exceptionally difficult as I have felt in the lowest of lows in thoughts, to come back up into the highs today. There are several factors, all of which come back to my losing focus. Losing focus on how these particular experiences could in any way be for my benefit and learning. I know this all sounds kind of vague, but I don't want to dive into deep into my personal life: just know that it all has to do with understanding the Lord's will for me and accepting that whole-heartedly. I have felt this heaviness of heart that I have not been able to shake, not even by the most powerful help of my Heavenly Father through prayer.

I have been struggling for about a month now to slowly piece together this paper, ever since I knew of the assignment and struggled to understand it. Today I experienced something miraculous to me. I better understand the statement in Moses "... they taste the bitter, that they may know to prize the good." Moses 6:55, also Alma 36:21

Opposition can help you appreciate the sweet all the more after you have partaken of the bitter. Tonight was sweet. I had already written up a draft of this paper due tomorrow that I wasn't happy with but I didn't know how to change it. So I decided today that I would sit down and start over, using my first draft to pull resources from if I needed to. I prayed before I began typing, asking the Lord for SPECIFIC assistance in knowing how to piece together the information together and that I would know in what order to put everything. As the inspiration started to flow and my fingers started to type, I offered up another prayer of gratitude and also that He would bless me to be able to type up the inspiration at the same speed it would come to me. My prayers were heard and I was able to piece everything together as it came. This paper is a miracle how it flowed from my mind and fingertips. I don't know that it will bear a high grade according to the requirements of the assignment, but I do know that I it was nothing short of a miracle to me and reminder of how the Lord is ever mindful of me down to my school assignments. One thing I love about truth: it is absolute and constant. You can always count on it: rely on it. God is mindful of me in the fine details, I know that is true for all of us. It can't be the one without the other.